mayfield_logs | I put on my robe and wizard hat.

Who: Edward Nigma, Ema Skye, Susan Sto Helit, Luke Triton, Lil' Slugger, and Death
What: The Riddler leads a merry band of adventurers on an epic quest for survival.
Where: In the realm of imagination (726 Anderson Lane)
When: Sunday, February 12th, 195X
Warnings: Potential for critical failures.

[You find yourselves in a crowded little dining room in 726 Anderson Lane, seated around a long table. There is a large grid laid out along the table, along with miniature figurines, pencils, papers, and multicolored die of different shapes and sizes. At the head of this table, hiding behind an elaborate screen is none other than your Dungeon Master, Edward Nigma.

> Roll for History

The Riddler received this tabletop RPG as a stocking stuffer this past Christmas, and after two months, it's finally time to put the game to good use.

> Roll for Bluff

Sorry, Puzzle Party Death House. There's no way you're getting out of this one. Instead...

> Roll for Endurance

Because by god, you're going to need it.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ema's found the wizard. And wow, is she not amused by him.]

Edward, Marie has the highest Intelligence score in the whole party. Can't we just say she solves these riddles and move on?

You seem to have gotten the Wizard's attention, Marie, for he pauses and asks, "What's this? Do I hear the voice of an enchanting young maiden amidst your party?"

[Well, we had to have seen this coming.]

...

What.

You heard what he said, Ema.

[Ema gives him a long Look. This is supposed to be a game, not an excuse for him to hit on her.

But if he wants to play it that way, then fine. She'll play.]

"That's very nice of you to say, Sir Wizard. However, I much prefer the company of other women and must ask you to flatter me no further."

"Isabel immediately turns to kiss Marie passionately. Theirs is a love that abides beyond all."

[Why is Susan encouraging this ridiculous display of... wait a second. What if he could turn this around?]

Well, go ahead, then. Don't let me stop you.

[Because Ema and Susan makeouts sound awesome.]

[jadfkdslfjdsafa]

Edward!!

[She throws a handful of the nearest snack food at him.]

[Ducking behind his castle-shaped folding screen. This is the saddest display of cowardice ever.]

"Angered by the wizard's lack of appropriate etiquette, the mighty Marie launches a Snackoo Missile."

Yes. That.

Her heart belongs to Isabel and no one else's. This wizard can't get into her robes.

Upon further consideration, the two strong female leads decide they don't need any backwards manky wizards living in a cave and set it on fire.

Also the one writing his awful script.

He doesn't live in a cave, he lives above a tavern. Pay attention.

Even worse. Imagine the number of venereal diseases being passed around. Immolation is the only solution.

Scientifically speaking.

(no subject)

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I'm pretty sure I have something on Marie's spell list that can do that.

[She looks at her spell sheets.]

I cast Burning Hands.

Isabel casts Politely Clapping Hands.

You know, Edward, this is much more fun than I thought it would be. I have to give you some credit.

That isn't even a spell!

And the door is fireproof.

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Destructive acts of this sort must not go on in the eyes of a Holy Warrior. Allow me to shield them, first.

[He covers his eyes. Burn it all, ladies.]

Well, we can't have that. Isabel reaches up to further protect the young Holy Warrior's eyes from the sight of manky wizard.

No hands can erase what this warrior has witnessed today.

[Luke is just awkwardly

staring.]

Ursa Minor asks if he ought to leave the room and let you three be alone.

There's nothing to worry about, we're just expressing our true love and setting a wizard on fire.

But Ursa Minor is expressly forbidden from attempting any such acts himself until he is 85 by order of whichever god he worships.

Ursa Minor is old enough to do whatever he likes!

[Well elves age differently BUT STILL.]

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