I put on my robe and wizard hat.

[questionauthority]

Who: Edward Nigma, Ema Skye, Susan Sto Helit, Luke Triton, Lil' Slugger, and Death
What: The Riddler leads a merry band of adventurers on an epic quest for survival.
Where: In the realm of imagination (726 Anderson Lane)
When: Sunday, February 12th, 195X
Warnings: Potential for critical failures.

[You find yourselves in a crowded little dining room in 726 Anderson Lane, seated around a long table. There is a large grid laid out along the table, along with miniature figurines, pencils, papers, and multicolored die of different shapes and sizes. At the head of this table, hiding behind an elaborate screen is none other than your Dungeon Master, Edward Nigma.

> Roll for History

The Riddler received this tabletop RPG as a stocking stuffer this past Christmas, and after two months, it's finally time to put the game to good use.

> Roll for Bluff

Sorry, Puzzle Party Death House. There's no way you're getting out of this one. Instead...

> Roll for Endurance

Because by god, you're going to need it.]

Comments

Re: ENCOUNTERS

[hintcoinplz]

[After one of those battles where everything goes wrong...]

I think I can still heal! Who needs healing?

...

Uh, looks like all of you are in pretty sorry shape. Um, I really think we should've waited before going into a higher level dungeon on our first try.

[glowing_skye]

I need healing. How is everything practically killing me?

[Low CON and a crap AC score, Ema. And if Edward weren't cheating, you'd have been dead several encounters ago.]

[questionauthority]

[Keeping his mouth shut, keeping his mouth shut.]

[glowing_skye]

What's that face for?

[questionauthority]

No reason.

[inthebones]

Funny. I didn't get hit once.

[She also did about as much damage as a five year old with a rubber knife.]

[glowing_skye]

You're able to dodge everything, that's why.

I need to learn to dodge better. What stat is that?

[inthebones]

Dexterity, I think.

For carefully shaving Edward's dice in favor of the 20 when he's not watching.

[questionauthority]

Susan, that's cheating.

[Not that he's been much better.]

[inthebones]

It hardly matters with your liberal reinterpretation of dice rolls, anyway. I don't believe there any such things as Secret God Interventions, especially not five times in a row.

[glowing_skye]

Secret what?

Edward, are you cheating?

[questionauthority]

Don't be absurd. I'm the Dungeon Master. Dungeon Masters don't cheat.

[inthebones]

That's only because you got to write the rules.

[strike_you_out]

[shielding a whisper behind his hand]

Miss Susan, I need a 20.

[inthebones]

In a bit, Slugger. After your father's too flustered about Ema to notice.

[Susan hardly whispers at all.]

[hintcoinplz]

Maybe for the next encounter you should stay in the middle?

[And Ema gets healed! Yay!]

[glowing_skye]

Yeah, I need to hide behind people, I think.

Thank you... [She forgets your character's name, Luke.]

[hintcoinplz]

Ursa Minor, and you're quite welcome! It's the duty of a er, brave warrior to help those in need!

[...Luke may not know what he's talking about here.]

[glowing_skye]

[That's okay, Ema's mostly winging it, too.]

"It's much appreciated. We need to know we can depend on each other, after all."

[hintcoinplz]

Of course, and you can always depend on me! Next time an enemy tries to gang up on you, I'll turn into something that'll scare the socks right off them! ...If they're wearing socks, that is.

[glowing_skye]

"I'd love to see that!

Your ability to change into different animals is fascinating. Do you mind if I ask you questions about it?"

[She's a nerd playing a nerd!]

[hintcoinplz]

Not at all! Changing into different animals can be useful for all sorts of things, not just combat!

[strike_you_out]

I issue forth a "Sit on Hands".

[He means "Lay on Hands." Everyone be healin' now.]

[hintcoinplz]

Okay, everyone! Gather around, I think we can get everyone back up to full health this way.

[inthebones]

[Susan looks around dubiously and slowly sits on one hand.]