I put on my robe and wizard hat.

[questionauthority]

Who: Edward Nigma, Ema Skye, Susan Sto Helit, Luke Triton, Lil' Slugger, and Death
What: The Riddler leads a merry band of adventurers on an epic quest for survival.
Where: In the realm of imagination (726 Anderson Lane)
When: Sunday, February 12th, 195X
Warnings: Potential for critical failures.

[You find yourselves in a crowded little dining room in 726 Anderson Lane, seated around a long table. There is a large grid laid out along the table, along with miniature figurines, pencils, papers, and multicolored die of different shapes and sizes. At the head of this table, hiding behind an elaborate screen is none other than your Dungeon Master, Edward Nigma.

> Roll for History

The Riddler received this tabletop RPG as a stocking stuffer this past Christmas, and after two months, it's finally time to put the game to good use.

> Roll for Bluff

Sorry, Puzzle Party Death House. There's no way you're getting out of this one. Instead...

> Roll for Endurance

Because by god, you're going to need it.]

Comments

[inthebones]

It hardly matters with your liberal reinterpretation of dice rolls, anyway. I don't believe there any such things as Secret God Interventions, especially not five times in a row.

[glowing_skye]

Secret what?

Edward, are you cheating?

[questionauthority]

Don't be absurd. I'm the Dungeon Master. Dungeon Masters don't cheat.

[inthebones]

That's only because you got to write the rules.

[hintcoinplz]

I thought it was a little strange that a sudden sinkhole appeared and wiped out the rest of those monsters in our last encounter.

[Don't mind Luke here, he's not helping at all.]

[inthebones]

Especially given that we were on a ship.

[questionauthority]

Right. Well, then. Each of you gains 1,000 experience points. By now, you should all have reached level two.

[strike_you_out]

[shielding a whisper behind his hand]

Miss Susan, I need a 20.

[inthebones]

In a bit, Slugger. After your father's too flustered about Ema to notice.

[Susan hardly whispers at all.]

[strike_you_out]

Thanks.

[He nods with a conspiratorial grin. For that, you get all the in-game protection.]