I put on my robe and wizard hat.

[questionauthority]

Who: Edward Nigma, Ema Skye, Susan Sto Helit, Luke Triton, Lil' Slugger, and Death
What: The Riddler leads a merry band of adventurers on an epic quest for survival.
Where: In the realm of imagination (726 Anderson Lane)
When: Sunday, February 12th, 195X
Warnings: Potential for critical failures.

[You find yourselves in a crowded little dining room in 726 Anderson Lane, seated around a long table. There is a large grid laid out along the table, along with miniature figurines, pencils, papers, and multicolored die of different shapes and sizes. At the head of this table, hiding behind an elaborate screen is none other than your Dungeon Master, Edward Nigma.

> Roll for History

The Riddler received this tabletop RPG as a stocking stuffer this past Christmas, and after two months, it's finally time to put the game to good use.

> Roll for Bluff

Sorry, Puzzle Party Death House. There's no way you're getting out of this one. Instead...

> Roll for Endurance

Because by god, you're going to need it.]

Comments

[questionauthority]

[Well, not exactly the answer Edward had been looking for, but it technically works.]

"Very good. Here is your second riddle:

'How can a knight ride into town on Friday, stay for two days, and then leave again on Friday?'"

[inthebones]

"He cross-classed in Time Traveller. ...Alternatively, his horse's name is Friday; honestly, I heard that when I was six."

[questionauthority]

"Good." The wizard sounds almost impressed, despite your presumptuous tone.

"Here is your final riddle:

'I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champagne bubble.
If you squeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?'"

[inthebones]

Why are there celebrities and champagne in medieval adventuring games?!

[questionauthority]

Good question. But not the question you should be asking yourself right now.

"Can you guess the riddle?"

[inthebones]

No. It's nonsensical. Isabel picks the lock and forces her way through.

[questionauthority]

You'll find that there's no need for that, as the door swings open automatically. The answer to the riddle was, indeed, "No."

"You may enter."

[inthebones]

I'm buying you a better riddle book next Christmas, Edward.