I put on my robe and wizard hat.

[questionauthority]

Who: Edward Nigma, Ema Skye, Susan Sto Helit, Luke Triton, Lil' Slugger, and Death
What: The Riddler leads a merry band of adventurers on an epic quest for survival.
Where: In the realm of imagination (726 Anderson Lane)
When: Sunday, February 12th, 195X
Warnings: Potential for critical failures.

[You find yourselves in a crowded little dining room in 726 Anderson Lane, seated around a long table. There is a large grid laid out along the table, along with miniature figurines, pencils, papers, and multicolored die of different shapes and sizes. At the head of this table, hiding behind an elaborate screen is none other than your Dungeon Master, Edward Nigma.

> Roll for History

The Riddler received this tabletop RPG as a stocking stuffer this past Christmas, and after two months, it's finally time to put the game to good use.

> Roll for Bluff

Sorry, Puzzle Party Death House. There's no way you're getting out of this one. Instead...

> Roll for Endurance

Because by god, you're going to need it.]

Comments

[questionauthority]

[Take your time, Ema. She's at least attempting to play by the rules.]

Exciting, isn't it?

[glowing_skye]

So far, it's mostly math.

[But Edward is excited about this, and things will probably be more interesting once the story gets rolling, so she's being a good sport. Or something.

She hands her sheet to Edward when she finally gets it done: extremely high INT, high WIS, average DEX and CHA, laughably low STR and CON. Basically, she's created the ultimate Glass Cannon Wizard.

Surely, this will not come back to haunt her later in the campaign.]

[questionauthority]

[Edward glances at her stats with a scrutinizing eye. Someone who highly prioritizes mental ability over physical strength? No, this certainly doesn't sound familiar at all.]

You're sure about these numbers?

[glowing_skye]

Yes, I'm sure.

[Clearly, she will just cast spells and ruin everyone's shit before they get close enough to hurt her.]

[questionauthority]

[Clearly. He'll side-eye the paper once more before handing it back to Ema.]

Suit yourself. [He foresees a great deal of tweaked rolls in Ema's favor in the not-too-distant future.]

[glowing_skye]

Thanks.

[She pauses, looking at the sheet thoughtfully.]

What should I name her? And what race should I be?

It says here that wizard is the favored class of elves...? [Because clearly, her CON score needs to be nerfed even more.]

[questionauthority]

I wouldn't recommend that. [Edward's really quick to jump in on this. God forbid she nerfs herself even more.] Generally, humans can more readily excel at any class you decide on.

[glowing_skye]

Oh. I don't really plan on multiclassing, anyway. [Mostly because she doesn't know how and suspects that Edward won't be patient in explaining it to her.]

Human it is. Her name's Marie.

[questionauthority]

After Madame Curie, I take it?

[glowing_skye]

[She grins.]

You know me so well.