mayfield_logs | when they know they're your heart; (CLOSED)

Entry tags:

c: rin tohsaka

when they know they're your heart; (CLOSED)

WHO: Rin Tohsaka (

gandere) & Kariya Matou (

waiting_for_the_worms)
WHAT: A certain droning cuts deeper than anything Mayfield's ever done
WHERE: Mayfield neighborhood
WHEN: Sometime last week
WARNINGS: N/A

[ For Rin Tohsaka, there was no other man greater in her eyes than her father. This was a truth that could never be warped no matter what atrocities he may have committed as a magus. In her mind it was necessary and he would never engage in an act without meaning. While most of the others in her life may argue that, Rin held him dearly above the rest.

His time here in Mayfield was a blessing. It left her elevated and on a high unlike anything before. There had been times she could be described as content in Mayfield (with Sakura, with Archer, with Shirou - all of these people could cause her to bring out a relaxed smile), but with her father here? She was happy. Already she was willing to do anything he asks of her, losing memories and her abilities briefly just to make him stand on equal footing with her.

So when she discovers that Tokiomi has been droned, she spends a lot more time around his house as though she's waiting. It's only a matter of time before he comes back to normal, right? Today though, she will be stuck outside his house, having been asked to leave. And yes, she's stubborn enough to sit out there for hours on end. Late at night, she's still out there, waiting for her beloved father to be fixed. ]

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[As it happens, Kariya's out for a walk tonight himself. Mayfield has been a blessing in disguise for him, too - affording him the opportunity to spend time with Rin and Sakura again as a family. It's something he wouldn't trade for the world, but the ghosts of the Grail War still haunt him every so often, and on particularly rough nights the wailing voice of Berserker echoes so loudly in the back of his head that he can't sleep.

Tonight is one of those nights. So as his wanderings take him past the house of his most hated rival, he can't help but notice a familiar twintailed girl sitting outside. It's late enough that the only reason anyone would still be out here would be something either secretive or worrisome, and given whose house she's outside, Kariya has an idea of which one it might be. Slowly, he approaches.]

...Rin? What are you doing out here this late?

Waiting for midnight. [ It's so simple of an answer that there must be something complex behind it. ]

... More importantly, what are you doing out here this late? [ If there's one thing she's gotten great at during her lifetime, it's turning the focus from herself onto someone else. ] I don't recall seeing you out here this late before.

...Couldn't sleep. I thought I'd get some fresh air.

[He stares past her and back to the house for a moment, frowning.]

Midnight? Did something happen?

[ Couldn't sleep? Long gone were those days for Rin. The first few months of Mayfield she couldn't sleep even with Archer in the same house and Lancer as a Servant. Both of who could have appeared within seconds should any harm come towards her. ]

I can probably make something to help you with that. [ It's a feeble attempt at being useful to someone, anyone, as her voice drops to one synonymous with pleading. ] If you want. I'll find something for you.

... As for that other question, it's fine. It'll be fine.

All right. Come on, then, let's go together.

[He walks over, extending a hand for her. If she doesn't want to take it, that's fine, but he's at least making the offer.]

Something happened to Tokiomi, didn't it? You can tell me about it on the way.

[Which is less of a request and more to say 'we're going to talk about this.' He's tired of letting her bottle everything up. It's gentle but firm.]

I shouldn't leave here. [ Her tone (while prominently unyielding) doesn't match with her hand reaching for his. ] Because when he breaks free of it, he might...

[ He might rely on her to tell him what has happened. He might even take her into his arms just as she's always wanted. Becoming a drone changed people and how they viewed Mayfield. For Rin it reminded her that the rules here should always be followed because who knows when she'll be the person everyone loses.

No, she much rather be the one who loses everyone instead. No one else should have to go through that pain and besides she's grown used to it by now. Why burden others? ]

Well, it's just important I sit here until he's recovered.

[When Kariya gets hold of Rin's hand, he makes sure not to let go, giving it a comforting squeeze. He decides he won't force her to go anywhere, so instead he takes a seat next to her out on the front steps of the house.]

All right. Then at least let me keep you company for a while.

[He's hoping she'll open up about this on her own, but is prepared to push a little if that doesn't happen. It hurts every time, having to force his way in through the cracks to get into where Rin keeps her real feelings. The feeling of jealousy he harbors toward Tokiomi over the unconditional love and trust Rin shows him makes him sick in the deepest pits of his stomach, but he knows she must be hurting twice as badly right now, so he swallows his spite once again and waits.]

Father won't be happy if you're seen here. [ It's a remark mostly to remind herself that this man was part of an "enemy" magi clan in the end. There can only be a fragment of trust given to him. ] I could handle that though if it comes down to it, so don't worry about it.

[ Even if he has to push, he'd make it further than her father. Their relationship was one-sided; Rin giving all that she has to him and Tokiomi barely returning the gesture. It's to be expected though and Rin's old enough to know better than to receive praise without working hard.

There was no Holy Grail in her hands at the end of her war, so it's only fair to be denied everything she's ever wanted. At the time it was easy to be content with what she had. Sakura's happiness, Shirou's revival, and after the stressful courts (where she faced potential execution), a teacher many would be proud to have. Even becoming Zelretch's pupil was nothing impressive to Tokiomi, only further fueling the flames of failure that burned away what humanity she has left. ]

I must have forgotten to tell him about a rule or something. [ Shifting the blame back to herself instead of the town leaves her to only find misery within. ] I should have known better.

[The significance of that remark isn't entirely lost on Kariya. After all, it isn't as though he's given her much reason to trust him, especially after admitting that it's essentially his own fault that her poor sister had to go through what she did. And what teenage girl in her right mind would open up to a man who considers her father an enemy? Sakura can sympathize with him due to their shared experiences, but Rin... he's never sure from what angle to approach her. It always feels a little like walking on eggshells.]

Rin... it's not your fault. You can't blame yourself for things the town does to people. Sometimes these things just... happen for no reason, right? Aren't you carrying enough of the world on your shoulders already?

It feels like there's always something I've overlooked. I'm clumsy and it always shows up at times that are inconvenient for me, Uncle Kariya.

[ Walking on eggshells is probably the best way to describe any interaction with her. Lancer knows he can't ever understand her and Archer's long given up. Even her own friends don't try often. Not that she minds it. In fact, it's better to keep everyone at a distance. ]

You're doing your best. I know you don't think that's good enough, but you don't need to be so hard on yourself all the time, and you don't need to carry the burden all alone. Believe me... I know what trying to do that is like.

[It's hard for him to admit, but a part of him knew from the beginning that he wouldn't be able to succeed on his own. It was just the only option he had. But Rin's different. She's stronger, smarter, more capable, and has more friends than she's even willing to recognize. Kariya sees all sorts of potential in her that he could only hope to grasp himself.]

You do? [ Her voice is soft and with a hint of understanding as she looks back towards him. ] I feel responsible for everything, yet... there's too much for me to do.

[ Leaning in towards his side. ]

I do. And I've already heard about where that path led for me. I don't want to watch the same thing happen to you, Rin.

[He leans back toward her, lightly placing his arm around her shoulder.]

It's okay to share the burden once in a while. You've got people that care about you here. Me, Sakura, Lancer, all of your friends... it's all right to rely on them once in a while. You'll just drive yourself crazy trying to take everything on alone.

[Sighing, he stares up at the sky for a moment before looking back at her.]

I never had that option, Rin - to get help from someone who really cared - but you're surrounded by friends and family here. It's not a bad thing to have some support to fall back on.

If the situation arose, would you fall back into my arms? [ It's a sudden question. So much so that it even leaves her shocked, her eyes widened slightly as she thinks it over. ]

Ugh... that was stupid of me to ask, wasn't it? Here you're trying to be supportive and helpful all while I downplay it. Geez, I really do mess up at the wrong time...

Of course. We're family.

[He smiles, drawing her closer.]

So just promise me you'll try not to be so hard on yourself. Let me know when you're feeling sad or frustrated or lonely. Even if I can't do anything to help, I can at least listen.

What good is it if you can't help?

[ Rin has always been selfish, but she doesn't mean to be in this situation. It just slips out. ]

Because at least then you don't have to face whatever's bothering you alone. This is that 'moral support' thing I was telling you about last time.

This 'moral support' thing doesn't make any sense. If you're unable to help, how can you face what's bothering me as well? It's annoying.

It's called sympathy, Rin.

[ What's that? ] Sympathy... I don't really need that though. I need someone who can help me kick the butt of whatever is bothering me.

What's bothering you right now, then?

[ Looking back over her shoulder at the house behind her. ] Father.

[ An open invitation to kick Tokiomi's ass!! ]

[Kariya laughs a little, shaking his head.]

You want me to drag him out here and rough him up a little for you?

It might cheer me up some. [ Propping her head up with both of her hands. ]

Really? You're serious?

[He was half-joking there.]

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