when they know they're your heart; (CLOSED)

[gandere]

WHO: Rin Tohsaka (gandere) & Kariya Matou (waiting_for_the_worms)
WHAT: A certain droning cuts deeper than anything Mayfield's ever done
WHERE: Mayfield neighborhood
WHEN: Sometime last week
WARNINGS: N/A

[ For Rin Tohsaka, there was no other man greater in her eyes than her father. This was a truth that could never be warped no matter what atrocities he may have committed as a magus. In her mind it was necessary and he would never engage in an act without meaning. While most of the others in her life may argue that, Rin held him dearly above the rest.

His time here in Mayfield was a blessing. It left her elevated and on a high unlike anything before. There had been times she could be described as content in Mayfield (with Sakura, with Archer, with Shirou - all of these people could cause her to bring out a relaxed smile), but with her father here? She was happy. Already she was willing to do anything he asks of her, losing memories and her abilities briefly just to make him stand on equal footing with her.

So when she discovers that Tokiomi has been droned, she spends a lot more time around his house as though she's waiting. It's only a matter of time before he comes back to normal, right? Today though, she will be stuck outside his house, having been asked to leave. And yes, she's stubborn enough to sit out there for hours on end. Late at night, she's still out there, waiting for her beloved father to be fixed. ]

Comments

[gandere]

[ Hugging his arm close to her chest, Rin nuzzles her face affectionately against it. ]

Uncle Kariya... please, let's leave. [ Her fingers grip him tightly. ] Please. Please let's just go.

[waiting_for_the_worms]

A-all right...

[He takes another deep breath, slowly collecting himself before turning away from the house.]

...I'm sorry, Rin.

[gandere]

It'll be okay. [ A comforting tone even though she's still shaky, she tugs on him to try to lead him away. ] You know... it did feel nice to see that.

[waiting_for_the_worms]

...It did?

[He can't really conceive of how she could possibly have been comforted by something like that, but it does make him smile just a little.]

Well, as long as it made you feel better. It felt good doing it too, even if I did get carried away.

[gandere]

I love my father, but that man... he is no longer my father. He's just someone else using his appearance to get to me.

[ Turning her body, she'll move to try to walk away from the house fully. ]

What you said though. [ Pausing. ] Did you mean all of it?

[waiting_for_the_worms]

[His rage sated for the time being, Kariya has no problems following her away from the house.]

...You mean before, just now?

[A momentary expression of mild embarrassment crosses his face, but he nods back slowly.]

Yeah, I did.

[gandere]

It'd be unwise to tell him that to his face, Uncle Kariya.

[ Rin looks up towards the sky as they walk, almost as though she was unable to look at him. ] My father can be a powerful man. Not that I'm saying you're weak or anything, just that you need your skills to be more refined.

[waiting_for_the_worms]

No, it's true... I am weak.

[It's something he's known for a long time now. He was too weak to stop Aoi from marrying Tokiomi in the first place, too weak to accept his role in the Matou family, too weak to win the war and save Sakura... he was even too weak to wreak his vengeance against the man who stole everything from him. Even with the Blade Wing Worms, he wasn't able to touch him. The defeat had been humiliating.]

[gandere]

He could kill me too, you know.

[ She doesn't hesitate to say that much. ] In fact, a part of me wondered if he would.

[ Reluctantly, she goes to grab at her left arm tightly out of fear. ]

[waiting_for_the_worms]

Kill you?

[Kariya walks along beside her, frowning deeply as he reaches out to touch her arm.]

Why would he...

[But he can't even really finish that sentence. He's seen Tokiomi's resolve in action. If it got him closer to the Grail, he'd gladly make any sacrifice.]

[gandere]

I've never heard of a magus returning to life after their crest has been passed on... It would be within his right to retrieve it should he wanted to.

[ Rin looks away as it becomes obvious enough that she would have given it to him willingly, therefore negating her own strength in this place. ]

[waiting_for_the_worms]

[He honestly doesn't know what to say about that. Everything she's saying is true.]

Well... you don't have to worry about that right now. Just do the best you can, Rin. You're the head of the Tohsaka family again. You should be proud of what you've accomplished.

[Not that he cares one lick about any of that, but he's trying to cheer her up here.]

[gandere]

What I've accomplished..? It's all worthless in the eyes of my father, so it's not worth being proud of.

[ Harsh words, but that's the mentality Tokiomi has inflicted upon her. Seven years of her life and she already thinks so little of herself. ]

[waiting_for_the_worms]

You've accomplished far more than he ever did. He has no right to judge you.

[Because what did he ever do except arrogantly enter the Holy Grail War and get betrayed and murdered by his own Servant and apprentice?]

[gandere]

He's my father. He has every right to judge me, Uncle Kariya.

[ All she ever wanted was to make that man happy and to know she failed doing that in their short time together in Mayfield makes her feel sick to her stomach. ]

[waiting_for_the_worms]

And you can't even see past all that, to how miserable he's made you? That man never had a single kind word for you! Not one word of tenderness or support, Rin! And now look at you - you don't even know how to be happy on your own anymore. Tokiomi's been dead all this time, but you're still letting his ghost haunt every step you take! When will you let it go and stand on your own?

[gandere]

Your mistake is thinking that anyone can be happy in this place, Uncle Kariya. I survive because I must and I try to do it without burdening others. Knowing that me being like this upsets you too..? Ugh, I just can't win.

[waiting_for_the_worms]

Anyone would worry, seeing you like this.

[gandere]

Lancer never notices it.

[waiting_for_the_worms]

And none of your other friends have, either?

[gandere]

I don't really have friends.

[waiting_for_the_worms]

What about Hakuno?

[She's the only one he's met, okok]

[gandere]

[ Flinching. ] Y-You know?!

[waiting_for_the_worms]

We were trapped in the carnival together.

[gandere]

And she told you that?!

[ Despair. ]