Forced Peace Talks

[motheringnation]

Who: Ukraine, Lithuania and Poland
What: Lithuania and Poland are still at odds. Ukraine has decided to enter peace talks. Only that involves getting them to the table first. So she invites both of them over without the other knowing.
Where: 5720 Cunningham Lane
When: Afternoon Thursday March 15
Warnings: They don't know this is happening. Potential nation rage. Tears. Pitchforks.


Ukraine is waiting inside the house. She doesn't like to trick people normally, but it was clear that this had to end. Sooner, then later.

Comments

[likesottlyfab]

Yeah, well you can tell him that I don't even want his stupid Vilnius anymore. It's lame now.

[motheringnation]

Okay first of all. You're both going to take a seat.

Lithuania sit over there. And Poland over there.

[Opposite sides of the kitchen table.]

Now then. I have paper. I want you to each make a list of the reasons why you're mad and the other.

[vytis]

There's nothing wrong with Vilnius!

[Lithuania sits at his end of the table, though he doesn't take his eyes off Poland just in case.]

...Fine.

[likesottlyfab]

Uh huh. Nothing other than it's stupidness and it's lameness.

[Poland doesn't want to sit.]

No. I don't want to make up with him anymore. Next he'll be climbing over the table so he can stab me with his pencil. No way.

[motheringnation]

Poland. He's not going to do that.

Just have a seat.

[vytis]

We don't have to do this if he doesn't want to.

[Standing up again.]

[likesottlyfab]

Don't use me as your scapegoat for not wanting to do it either!

[motheringnation]

[She sighs.]

I'm asking you to do this for me. Please. Sit down.

[vytis]

[Sitting down again, after a long pause.]

[likesottlyfab]

[Plops down in his chair, glowering at Lithuania from across the table.]

[motheringnation]

[Beams at them. And then hands them both some paper and a pencil....also some cookies. And she'll sit down on the other side of the table and wait.


Where did she get that knitting? Kitting anyway.]

[vytis]

[Lithuania starts out making a neat, bullet-pointed list of his grievances against Poland. He starts out listing just the things that happened recently in Mayfield:

- claimed Vilnius
- delivered an ultimatum
- said terrible things

But then he starts going back past just that first incident:

- lied to me about his experiment
- attacked me at Christmas

And they start getting pettier...

- yells at me out his window all the time
- put a giant flag made out of clothes on his house
- doesn't keep his pony in his own backyard

And then they start moving past just Mayfield (and he's not writing in order of time anymore)...

- took Vilnius and held it until Russia took it from him by force
- forced me to sign an ultimatum knowing I didn't have any other option
- is being difficult about electrical grids
- dyed all the rye pink on three separate occasions
- thought my face was hilarious when Russia was taking me away
- never listens
- is bossy
- acts like I'll automatically do whatever he wants whenever he tells me to

And soon he starts scribbling in the margins of previously-filled-out sections, adding more thoughts:

- claimed Vilnius <--again! just because he was mad I didn't sign!
- delivered an ultimatum <--the EXACT SAME ONE he gave me the last time he took Vilnius! did you see his pinkies were gone? THAT'S WHAT HE TRADED THEM FOR

- thought my face was hilarious when Russia was taking me away <--IS THAT REALLY ALL HE WAS THINKING HE'S SUCH A SELFISH BASTARD

Eventually he goes onto the back of the page continuing his list with a ton of arrows all over the paper adding more issues to each bulleted grievance until the graphite in his pencil snaps.]

[likesottlyfab]

[Poland's list is shorter because he's a slower writer and taking extra effort to make it look nicer with little heart bullet points and doodles to further illustrate his points.

♥ He's a jerk.
♥ He stuck a sword in my face. That's really dangerous.
♥ He ruined my marker with his stupid sword too.
♥ And he could have cut off my hand!
♥ He tried to take my house. My house is cooler than his so I can see why, but GOD way to be overly jealous Lithuania.
♥ He made me say bad stuff.
♥ HE TRIED TO KILL ME!!!!!!
♥ HE TRIED TO KIIIIIIIILL ME! This is important so I wrote it twice.
♥ He has the fashion sense of a drunk hobo. Gross.
♥ He wouldn't sign my ultimatum. He signed it last time. He's just being a dick this time. He likes fighting with me because he's a jerk.
♥ He punched me in the face.
♥ HE PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE! He broke my nose! My face is a national treasure! Especially compared to him. Because he's ugly.
♥ He wouldn't let me dye the rye blue. Blue bread would have totally sold out!

...

♥ LOTS OF OTHER STUFF.
♥ It's not my fault he's jealous of me.]

[motheringnation]

[Taking both of those when you're finished. ......sighs.]

Okay first of all. Let's talk about the day this started. Also, no more insults. At least pretend we're at an official meeting and your bosses are watching.

Now then.

Lithuania was acting strange and tried to take control of the street.

Which from what I've been hearing. He wasn't the only one. England, Spain, Netherlands, Latvia and others were running around claiming parts of the town.

So either something was going on, or everyone we know decided to act like children for a day.

[Looks over at Poland and then Lithuania.]

And I can guess things got out of control from there.

Poland. What you said was cruel, you know that.
Lithuania. We can't claim land here, despite what everyone thought that day.

That goes for the both of you actually. Do you understand? We can't claim land here. We're trapped in a small town that's trying to drive us insane. Fighting with each other will help no one. It will just make us miserable.

You need to realize that both of you were at fault and apologize to each other. Both of you.

Because you've been friends for how many years? Don't let Mayfield ruin that.

[vytis]

I'm sure Mayfield was doing something that day, but that didn't stop Poland from claiming half the street after it was over. I don't think he was hit with whatever it was at all, actually.

[And this is making him more annoyed because that means Poland just said those awful things.]

If I renounce my claim he'll take the whole street.

[likesottlyfab]

I'm tired of this, "Meeeeeh... Mayfield made me do it Poland, so I have like no responsibility for the bad stuff I did so get over it," junk. That's not fair at all.

[Seriously Hungary sexually assaulting him because of Mayfield was bad enough. Now Lithuania was pulling it too. At least Poland went to apologize to Lithuania about what Mayfield made him do over Christmas.]

I don't even want the stupid thing, I'm just claiming it so you can't.

[motheringnation]

You can't claim streets here.

And this town isn't fair.

[vytis]

I don't see why I should be the one apologizing when you said all those things without any excuse at all.

[Lithuania is just a hairbreadth away from yelling.]

But fine, I'm sorry I claimed the street that day.

[Not any day after it, though.]

[likesottlyfab]

I only said that stuff because you got me so angry by claiming the street in the first place.

It's not like I just randomly say mean things for kicks without anything prompting me to. God.

[motheringnation]

[She sighs.]

[vytis]

Were you listening to what you said?!

[Now he is yelling, because as far as mean things go those were pretty awful.]

[likesottlyfab]

It's not like I had a lot of time to take it back between saying it and you slamming me into a wall!

[motheringnation]

[This is ...going ....well.]

[vytis]

Because apparently that's the only sort of thing that gets through your skull!

[likesottlyfab]

That's not true!