March Forth

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

Who: Edward Nigma/The Riddler and The Major
What: Declarations of war, my friend. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Where: The Legion of Doom HQ
When: March 4th
Warnings: Egomaniac super villains and the Nazi cyborgs who hate them (violence and imagery warnings, possibly language as well)

It isn't obvious. Not at first. And why should the Legion HQ seem dangerous. Only a fool, as demonstrated before, would try and break in. It's too well trapped and guarded, even on its own. So there should be no reason to worry.

And yet, coming from one of the rooms, there's a noise. One of the smaller rooms, meant perhaps at one time as a lab for one of the more scientifically inclined members who never moved their devices over. Or maybe as an interrogation room. But it's bare aside from a few chairs and a table. There shouldn't be anything suspect of it.

But it's hard not to hear. Perhaps easy at first, but it's like an earworm. And a quiet, distant sound plays from within it.

Comments

[questionauthority]

Of course Eddie does. He's been with these people for almost a year and a half. Not that he really intends to say a word about any of them to the Major.

"Why does that matter to you?"

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

The Major examines the blade quietly a moment before pointing it towards Eddie.

"It matters to me because you're living with my opponent, Edward. I wanted to see if you would be some kind of threat, some kind of actual aid to her, once I truly begin my march forward.

The answer I've come to find is that you won't be. Which I will admit? Is a disappointment."

[questionauthority]

That catches Edward off-guard.

"Your opponent... You're going after Susan?" He swallows uncomfortably. "Why?"

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

"Why?" The Major chortles, tapping the blade against the table once as he tilts his head at Edward. "Do you even need to ask? Aside from one other person she, more than anyone, is my opponent here."

"She is the only person here who has chosen to truly match wits with me. The only person I found here worth my attention since she killed me at the Dairy. You might be a fox and I a wolf. But Susan?"

His grin grows again and the Major leans forward in his seat. "Susan is a dragon. And to kill that would be a true accomplishment."

[questionauthority]

So the Major isn't here for Edward after all. He's here for Susan. Is that really true...? Why would he bother coming to see Edward at all if his quarrel was truly with her? Just to spite him?

Most likely.

"Let me get this straight. You're telling me that all of this..." The so-called war, the threats, the traps, everything... "...All of this was just a test. You were toying with me. You wanted to see if I would be of any use to Susan. Your war is with her. "

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

"And just to humor you. But mainly to see what kind of threat you would be."

The Major finally sheathes the sword, spinning the cane between his fingers as he speaks. He's fairly good at it, if not the most graceful with it.

"And I've come to find, Edward, that you're the weak link of the house. Of all the relations of those in the house, you're the weak link. You have quite high thoughts of yourself Edward. But do you know what I've found?"

The Major stops the spin on the cane, gripping it tightly in his hand as he gets up and begins to pace the room.

"All in your house have fangs. And know how to hide them. Slugger, being a monster, by nature knows how to conceal parts of what he is. It comes natural to him. He might be changing - I'm sure you haven't noticed but he's becoming more human, even has a friend and girl he cares about. Though I'm sure you don't give a damn. The boy, Luke, surprised me. He's stubborn like you are, but it's a different type of stubbornness. A stubbornness with purpose beyond emptily proclaiming himself to be someone of worth. A righteous stubbornness, in a way, so divorced and dissimilar to your own that I suppose the only reason you truly relate to him is that you're too dense to see how much better he is than you. Smarter, a better detective and creative thinker, and a better fighter."

The Major's pacing stops behind Edward, several feet behind him at the moment.

"And Susan" the name is practically a sigh on his lips, unable to hide his fondness, "Well. Her fangs are both concealed and drawn at the same time, all the time, I think. Hers are so sharp it's hard not to notice them, but I don't think many see them at their full length. I certainly didn't at first at the Dairy when she killed me. And she was the one to kill me. You were utterly inconsequential in the encounter. In fact, if you hadn't been there...she probably would have lived that day!"

Slowly, the Major begins to approach Eddie from behind. Sometimes he taps the floor of the lair, punctuating his footsteps.

"Do you understand Edward? You're the furthest thing from the "father" of this household. No. You're the household dog Edward, the stray mutt that ended up on Susan's porch that she took in out of the kindness of her heart - and she is a very kind woman, far kinder than is healthy for her - despite the mongrel's yapping. Despite it's tendency to shit all over the floor again and again and again. And that's Susan's wish, I suppose, if it can't be housebroken. But when it takes a shit on my boots..."

The Major is directly behind Eddie now. Not reaching out for him, not touching him. Just standing. And glowering. The Major's voice has taken a harsher tone, and colder tone. There's little humor there anymore, and what is there sounds almost forced.

"How dare you. How dare you even begin to conceive you were worth my time. Do you know how you hide your fangs Edward? Like this," and the Major draws the cane sword again, briefly, before yet again resheathing it, "In gaudy, bright green. In a clubhouse, full of the kinds of traps and secret doors a child would dream up. But children grow to know better, grow to know the world. But you haven't. Your claws are puny, pathetic; built out of a sense of trying to prove your own worth despite never maturing in any feasible or worthwhile way. You're a child, screaming and stupid and bleating. Most notably in comparison to the two children in your house. You're just a pathetic man named Edward Nashton who doesn't know how to be a man at all, and so you try to redefine what would make you be a creature of worth. Through puzzles. Through games. Through childish means."

The Major taps Edward on the head with the cane. It's gentle, not a rap at all but something someone would do to a child they were fond of. Or were worried about hurting.

"But I am not a child. And I do not play childish games. No. I treated you like an enemy, as you asked, to humor you. You were never worth the time. You never will be."

"But Susan is. And the children in your house are. And so, it is with them that I will wage war. It is their friends and their relations that I will work to slay and kill and crush, just as they will struggle to crush me in turn. Don't worry Edward. I won't kill you. Just the people you live with and the people they care about."

[questionauthority]

Question: What can you hold without ever touching or using your hands?

Answer: Your breath.

And that's exactly what the Riddler is doing at this moment as the Major continues to tear him down. Completely invalidating him, calling him childish. Worthless. It's... drawing some rather uncomfortable parallels, to say the least. Edward's not said a single word to cut off this destructive rant, too speechless to really protest or say much of anything. But his eyes, though clearly wounded, look downright savage.

Riddle me this: The more you take away, the larger it becomes. What is it?

Answer: A hole.

For little more than a year, the Riddler's found himself near the mouth of a rather large hole. One that seems to grow larger and larger with each passing event, each bitter rivalry, each unexpected friend... More and more, the Crown Prince of Conundrums has been losing sight of the pieces to the puzzle that's made him into the man he is today. Crane's told him as much, and now so has the Major.

But there's one thing he knows for certain, at the very least. Mayfield may be more restrictive than Arkham, but it's no Gotham. And it's sure as hell no Valhalla, as the Major's so lovingly described it. His war won't come to fruition. Not with Susan, Slugger, Luke, Ema, or anyone else.

"You don't---You don't know what the hell you're talking about. You goddamned..."

No sooner spoken than broken. The silence is the only thing Edward's willing to allow to break right now, if not the Major's neck. At this point, one of Eddie's hands has latched itself atop his head, covering the spot where the Major's just rapped him. Fingers deeply entrenching themselves within his hair and tugging tight.

Calm down. Get a grip, Edward. Get a grip.

"Get out," he eventually snarls. "You'll never have your war, Major. Do you understand me? Not with Susan. Not with anyone."

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

"No."

The Major shakes his head, smiling. The Major leans over, whispering into Edward's ear.

"Be it a day or be it a decade I'll have it. And you, Edward, will deliver my proclamation to her."

[questionauthority]

"Get. Out."

You're really getting on the Riddler's very last nerve, Major. You know that?

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

The Major begins to walk towards the door, still twirling the cane. He got what he wanted.

"Do at least the right thing for once, and warn her. Warn the town, too, if you so feel like it. Or let them all drown in the thunder and the flames I'll bathe this town in."

"It's your choice I suppose."

Standing in front of the door, the Major tosses the question mark cane carelessly to the floor towards Eddie.

"Here. You can have your toy back."

And he smiles. Almost kindly, if you didn't know who he was.

"And don't worry. I can show myself out."

And with a small wave, the Major leaves, heading down one of the tunnels to the alternate entrances and exits in the town.