gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love

[commentboxtroll]

Who: Caesar, Virginia, and Balin.
What: Horrible flowers, Caesar's now yandere for Virginia, and Balin obviously needs to get lost.
Where: 847 Goldberg St.
When: 13th through the 15th
Warnings: none, 'cause Caesar is a scrub who ain't getting no love? idk, maybe someone will punch him.

[Lo and behold, on the morning of the thirteenth, there is a mysterious vase of flowers on the kitchen table of 847 Goldberg Street. That is more than enough to put Caesar on guard. For once, he's the first to be up, though that's more attributed to his sudden change of heart about sleeping in his own room (he's taken over the couch instead) and, well, it isn't quite as comfortable as a bed.

He's kept away from the vase while setting the coffee pot to brew and finding something for an early breakfast, but they've proven to be boring so far. Nothing suddenly exploding out of the vase, they aren't growing into terrible crushing vines, they're just sitting there, looking pretty.

Maybe someone else actually brought them here after all?

Cup of coffee in one hand, he steps over to the table and leans closer for a look. Those yellow ones smell... hmm...]

Hey, did anyone--! [Oh. He spots the card and his yell to ask if anyone had brought them in dies mid-sentence. He'll read that instead, but it only makes things stranger.] ...from my what?

Comments

[walking_nuke]

[Certainly it's more emotion than he's ever seen out of Caesar before. He's used to Caesar sounding bored and mopey 90% of the time.]

Yeah, one problem with'at—she had'a hots for some guy named Itachi. Never once mentioned anything about you havin' feelings for her.

[Come to think of it, Balin doesn't really know what Virginia thinks of him. Even when the town tried to reinforce the role they'd stuck both of them into.]

[commentboxtroll]

So maybe she's being shy about it! Or... well, it doesn't matter. I'll make her see it, too!

[Yeah, because that doesn't at all sound insane... Though he's never heard of this Itachi before. That causes him to delay his retreat, just for a moment.]

Who? Who's Itachi? No, you're making that up. She's never said anything about an Itachi! You're just trying to get me to go after someone else, aren't you? Like a coward. I thought you were at least brave, Balin...

[walking_nuke]

[Balin rolls his eyes. At this point, any possibility that this might be a hidden side of Caesar seems absolutely impossible.]

Yeah, like I got a reason to lie. You know what? Next time she's around, ask her yourself. An' stop tryin'a fuck with me just 'cause you got a crush you can't handle.

[Which begs the question ... what exactly is causing Caesar to act like this? That part he hasn't figured out yet.]

[commentboxtroll]

[He'll be relieved to hear Balin figured that out once he's back to normal.]

I am handling it! Getting rid of all my obstacles is handling it. And even if there was an Itachi, it won't matter, because I'm here for her now. So just stay away from her, got it?

[walking_nuke]

Even if there was an—are you fuckin' listenin' to your self?! You're actin' like I'm one of'ose "Accomplished Murderer" bastards!

[It's that part which is why Balin had so much trouble realizing that this probably isn't some hidden side of Caesar.]

[commentboxtroll]

[Listening to himself? Don't be crazy, Balin. Caesar's making perfect sense!]

You might be, for all I know. Who's to say you wouldn't have been on that plaque along with the rest if you'd been here for it? Take out enough people and with a little luck, maybe you would've been able to level the entire town...

[walking_nuke]

[Oh, that actually ticks Balin off.]

Fuck that. I don't go an' try to kill people who don't deserve it. Which is more than I can say of you, the way you've been goin'ese past few days!

[commentboxtroll]

Don't be stupid. [Oh yes, he smiles.] The only person here I'd care to kill is you.