gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love

[commentboxtroll]

Who: Caesar, Virginia, and Balin.
What: Horrible flowers, Caesar's now yandere for Virginia, and Balin obviously needs to get lost.
Where: 847 Goldberg St.
When: 13th through the 15th
Warnings: none, 'cause Caesar is a scrub who ain't getting no love? idk, maybe someone will punch him.

[Lo and behold, on the morning of the thirteenth, there is a mysterious vase of flowers on the kitchen table of 847 Goldberg Street. That is more than enough to put Caesar on guard. For once, he's the first to be up, though that's more attributed to his sudden change of heart about sleeping in his own room (he's taken over the couch instead) and, well, it isn't quite as comfortable as a bed.

He's kept away from the vase while setting the coffee pot to brew and finding something for an early breakfast, but they've proven to be boring so far. Nothing suddenly exploding out of the vase, they aren't growing into terrible crushing vines, they're just sitting there, looking pretty.

Maybe someone else actually brought them here after all?

Cup of coffee in one hand, he steps over to the table and leans closer for a look. Those yellow ones smell... hmm...]

Hey, did anyone--! [Oh. He spots the card and his yell to ask if anyone had brought them in dies mid-sentence. He'll read that instead, but it only makes things stranger.] ...from my what?

Comments

IT BEGINS!

[walking_nuke]

[Balin's busy getting dressed upstairs by the time Caesar's checking out the vase, but he overhears Caesar shouting and calls back all the same.]

Did anyone what?

[commentboxtroll]

[There's a lengthy pause between Balin's question and Caesar actually remembering to answer.]

...get flowers! [Only the card is addressed to him. That's a little suspicious.] Do I have a secret admirer?

[Pretty sure he doesn't. No, Millie doesn't count.]

[walking_nuke]

[After a minute or two, Balin comes down the stairs, fully dressed. And smirking.]

With'a way all'em girls invite'emselves into your room? I'd be surprised if one of 'em had'at kinda subtlety.

[Referring, of course, to Millie. And Viki. And Ginny. And ...]

[bantorain]

-And down came Ginny, still needing a cane to get around. It wouldn't be much longer before she'd be rid of that, too... But hey, she could scale stairs. SOMEONE BE PROUD.-

Did one of his girlfriends send something?

[commentboxtroll]

[Sorry, Caesar's too enamored with these flowers to pick on Virginia's achievement right now. He leans back away from the vase, but not before picking the hyacinth out for a better look at it.]

Or such neat handwriting. [But wait, they're implying he has girlfriends again. The look he gives them is, of course, an irritated one.] And I don't have any girlfriends! They're just... [He waves the flower vaguely before sighing and putting it away again. It was fine. They could keep joking about that all they wanted. It would at least keep Balin from suspecting anything-- wait, what? That was a weird thought.

He may have sounded annoyed a second before, but now he's trailed off on an uncertain note.]

Whoops! D:

[walking_nuke]

[None the wiser over here. He's looking over at Virginia coming down the stairs, in fact.]

Seems like it. How're ya holdin' up?

[bantorain]

Doing better, actually. The exercises are helping. Have you had any trouble tending to the animals without me?

[commentboxtroll]

They've been fine, though I don't think Balin knows the front end of them from the back.

[Don't mind him, he'll just be over here checking on the coffee, his interest in the flowers having waned.]

[walking_nuke]

[Balin scoffs at Caesar's response.]

Yeah, well, I wasn't born in'a country, what can I say?

[bantorain]

Be fair, Caesar, you still need Balin for heavy lifting. And I appreciate both of you and the work you've been doing, alright?

[commentboxtroll]

W-what? No I don't. I can pick up any of that stable stuff just fine.

[You won't one-up him here, Balin. Even... if he isn't even trying to.]

[walking_nuke]

[Balin furrows his brow a little. Caesar really hasn't acted the same toward him since Thanksgiving, but this ... seemed off even considering that.]

What's'a deal, Caesar? Normally you complain about doin'is kinda work, not volunteer.

[bantorain]

That is a little weird...

AND THEN LATER

[commentboxtroll]

[When not stalking Virginia around the house, Caesar has been up to... stalking someone else. Balin, to be precise. Balin might notice a sudden upturn in accidents happening around him in these days.

First there was the spider incident with the pancakes and Caesar waving it off as someone having accidentally put milk from the front step into the fridge, obviously! Though that they had only been in Balin's...

Then someone had strung a cord across the top of the stairs to catch Balin up one morning...

Or the strange incident involving someone adding something red to all his laundry and running the wash on hot water! Well, that was more passive aggressive than deadly, but...

And now, Caesar is busy trying to figure out a way to sabotage Balin's weird crafting station. Technology like this is not his thing, not by a long shot, but maybe if he connects enough wires to the wrong spots, who knows? It might backfire on Balin when he uses it next! The console is laid open, tools at hand while he fumbles towards some kind of trap or other.

So intent on the work, he hasn't been keeping an eye on the time.

When does Balin get back from his job again...?]

[walking_nuke]

[Right now!]

[And Balin's still kinda grumpy from not having completely gotten the red stuff out of his clothes. His PT uniform is now a manly shade of pink. So, coming home from work to find Caesar up to his elbows in the workstation's guts.]

... Caesar, what'a hell are you doin'?

[commentboxtroll]

[Uh oh. He turns around to stare at Balin for a second, looking a hell of a lot like a kid caught doing something wrong. No, no, he's got to keep cool, and so that expression smooths out immediately.]

I... was curious about what was inside.

[Which might be a good reason, except Caesar's never cared about Balin's weird tech before!]

[walking_nuke]

[And that is something that definitely doesn't escape Balin's notice; after all, the kid usually didn't show interest in all in the stuff he does. Heck, he can't think of a time when Caesar liked hearing explanations ... detailed ones at least.]

You never seemed curious about it before.

[No seriously, this really bothers Balin, given how weirder-than-normal Caesar's been acting for the past few days, but he's trying to stay levelheaded at the moment.]

[commentboxtroll]

W-well, I changed my mind.

[You know, once this is over, he's going to cringe the most over his terrible lies. He can do much better than this.]

[walking_nuke]

[This is the look of a man who is totally unconvinced, Caesar.]

Yeah. Changed your mind like everything else in'a past few days.

[commentboxtroll]

[And this is the look of a young man who just checked to make sure exactly which sharp-ended tool is closest at hand.]

Really? I can't think of what else I've changed lately.

[walking_nuke]

Oh, come on. Making coffee an' breakfast all of a sudden? Bitchin' me out for thinkin' about'at prank you had in mind?

[Not counting the spiders in the pancakes, of course.]

[commentboxtroll]

[Balin deserved those spiders, man.]

I make coffee all the time! And I don't see what's so weird about learning to cook something. Or why I shouldn't be upset that you thought I would ever hurt Virginia.

[walking_nuke]

[Wow. Wait, what? Coffite sucks, but ...]

... Hurt's'a little strong'a word for'at kinda prank.

[commentboxtroll]

The purpose of a prank is to humiliate someone, Balin. So no, I think hurt is the perfect word for it, and I care too much about her to do that. Unlike someone else here...

[walking_nuke]

Right. Yeah. Which is why I was totally'a one'at came up with'a idea in'a first place.

[The sarcasm is so thick you can serve it on toast.]