but it's hard to dance with a devil on your back

[godcomplexed]

Who: The Doctor and Jade
Where: Jade's room, Benny 1338
When: Tonight
What: Nighttime visits
Warnings: Adorableness



[The Doctor can't sleep.

He hasn't slept in a week. Every time he tires, he has memories of being lost in the endless dark void of death. He remembers screaming but making no noises, he remembers trying to reach for someone to help him, but he didn't have a body to reach with. He remembers the crushing and infinite dark that consumed him.

He spends his nights wandering the town and fiddling with the TARDIS, which is hard to do when his right arm is unusable. He's exhausted but every time he sleeps, he jerks away soon after.

That's how he ends up in Jade's room. He's lonely, afraid, and too proud to admit it. But Jade doesn't demand things of him and gives advice kindly. He sits on the side of her bed and shakes her shoulder gently with his good arm.]

Jade. Jade. Wake up.

Comments

[echidna]

[ Jade has still been prone to her night wanderings, but otherwise has been sleeping just fine. Tonight is one of the night's where she's managed to remain in her bed, and the sleep is also being successfully accomplished.

Or at least, it was.

The room is lit with the soft green glow that still emanates from her, so when she rubs her eyes and blinks wearily in the light, she doesn't even need to reach for her glasses to realize who it is. ]

Dad? [ She yawns, sitting up slightly. ] What is it?

[godcomplexed]

...Oh, good you're awake.

[He pauses, swinging his legs.]

Just checking in. You know.

[echidna]

Oh, okay. [ She nods sleepily, already settling back into bed. ] Goodnight.

[godcomplexed]

[ajfdkaf shakes her again.]

No! Nononono! Wait. Don't sleep. What good is sleep.

[echidna]

Hmm? [ Hey now, no shaking. >:( She sits up again, taking his hands so that he'll stop that nonsense.

She's quiet for a minute or two, waiting for herself to wake up. When she's feeling a little more into things, she looks at him carefully, squeezing his hands. ]

Is something wrong?

[godcomplexed]

[He grips her hands back, his broken one trembles slightly. The circles under his eyes are as dark as her hair.]

...Not a something.

[echidna]

[ She smooths her fingers over his trembling hand gently, shifting in her bed to make room for him. It's a nice size, a double, plenty of room for a small girl and her lanky father. ]

A someone?

[godcomplexed]

...Suppose so, yeah.

[He scoots into bed next to her, curling up under the covers, still gripping her hand.]

[echidna]

[ She's still running her fingers soothingly over his hands, settling back down into bed. She scoots herself up, so she can press her forehead to his in the comforting way he's done to her so many times before, speaking in a whisper. ]

And what is wrong with that someone?

[godcomplexed]

[He sighs and presses his forehead against hers, closing his eyes, squeezing them shut as a way to resist all the turbulent emotion within him.]

Far too many things, I'm afraid. Though... he really did just want to help.

[echidna]

What's wrong with wanting to help?

[godcomplexed]

When it all goes wrong and helping ends up hurting.

[echidna]

That happens sometimes... [ She shrugs a little, shifting closer. ] No one's in control of everything, not even Time Lords.

Just for an example.

[godcomplexed]

...[He presses his face into the top of her head. He knows what she's saying is true, but he can't let it go. He can't so easily forgive himself for what happened to Martha and Rory.]

Of course not but... when you think you have control, well, sometimes you go a bit off the rails.

[echidna]

[ She nods slightly, in understanding. ]

It's hard... when you feel like you've failed someone. [ She sighs quietly, pressing her face to his shirt. ] But you can't hold onto it, because it will just eat you all up inside.

[godcomplexed]

...I don't know how to face them.

[He wordvomits out before he can stop himself. He feels silly, partially for trying to act like he wasn't talking about himself and the rest for being such a coward.]

[echidna]

Do you love them?

[godcomplexed]

More than anything.

They're the best of me. Whenever times I hard, I just look behind, and there are. Always.

[echidna]

[ She smiles against his chest. ]

Then... even if loving them so much makes it harder to face them, it also means you know how important it is that you do; because you love them, and they love you too.

[godcomplexed]

...You're thirteen.

Why are you so bloody smart?

[echidna]

Fourteen.

[ She corrects him with a teasing laugh, then shrugs. ]

When you're by yourself so much, you have a lot of time to think about weird things.

[godcomplexed]

...Too much time if you ask me.

[He squeezes her in his arms. Fourteen is still little enough to be his baby girl sob.]

[echidna]

It wasn't so bad. And I still had my friends, even if they were just online. And I had Bec.

[godcomplexed]

Dunno, when I'm alone, I start to go a bit mad and talk to myself. People find it a bit disturbing, I'm afraid.

[echidna]

Do you ever hop around and squeal like a pig?