mayfield_logs | Memory Corrupt General Log

Now now, you know I never behave myself. [Pause.] Or do I?

Ya know, I was supposed to tell you a story but the thing is, I ain't sure where to start. I'm wonderin' where our memories converge, n' how much I differ from the Mal you know.

You remember a war, yeah? 'Tween the Alliance and Independents?

[She just shakes her head, he's as impossible as the Mal she knows.]

I do indeed remember the war... Why do you ask?

Just tryin' to find the point of convergence. Curious to know where things went differently.

So you remember the war. The Independents used their victory to start rebuilding their planetary governments. How'd you meet me?

[Inara's eyebrows draw together and she shakes her head.]

No, Mal, they didn't. The Alliance won the war.

[Now things were just getting strange.]

[Blink blink. Head tilt.]

Huh.

Well now. Things is startin' to make a little more sense. [He doesn't seem happy about this news. In fact, he seems saddened.]

At least, makes sense why the me you know is so put out all the time. Can't even imagine what I'da done if we'd lost.

[Inara picks her cup of tea up and takes a small sip, watching Mal over its rim. It really did make sense, sadly.]

You'd do exactly what the you I know has done. You'd be the captain of your own ship.

[He nods.] Right. But it ain't that simple. I imagine I'd be on the run all the time, stayin' just outta the reach of the Alliance. N' the defeat itself... well, if I know myself, I reckon it'd take me a fair cut of the rest of my life to come to terms with. Admit I probably put too much faith in the wrong places.

Just explains a lot, is all.

Easier to say these things from the winning side, I wager. You probably never hear me talk like this.

[Inara's just openly staring at him. This was certainly a truly unexpected turn. She'd heard him talk before, though never quite like this. But then again, it wasn't the same Mal she knows.

She looks down at her tea cup and shakes her head.]

You're right, I haven't. Though it's uncanny how right you are... Well, from what I've surmised at least. [She lifts her gaze again and smiles slightly.] You like to keep the world at arm's length.

[He smiles wistfully.] It's true I never been a very cuddly person. S'pose that war didn't help none.

[His demeanor seems to change all of the sudden, as if he's pulling himself out of a reverie.] Well now. I was supposed to be talkin' about a weddin' and how it all came to happen, and now I know where to start. It's a happier tale than the one you probably got to tell. The 'verse rebuildin' itself in freedom, the outer rim gaining independence 'n all that.

Best part is that I got to help. I became somewhat of a counselor, havin' grown up out there. I knew how to help those folk; knew just what they needed to get on their feet. Did such a good job they made me into an official representative. I was very... official.

An official representative? [Her eyes widen a little at that. It's not that she can't picture him as one... All right, that's exactly what it is. The Mal she knew only had so much diplomancy in him and sometimes it was stretching even referring to it as that.

Though he did seem to be attracted to helping others, even when it seemed to actually be the last thing he wanted to do.

She sets her cup down, and rests her elbow on the table top before resting her chin on her upturned hand.]

So I imagine you have to dress up quite a bit being an official representative and all.

[Smirk.]

Oh yeah. Never really got used to bein' gussied up but makin' appearances was important to some folk n' they insisted on it. So long as I got to keep helpin' people.

The improvements were good. The networkin' was good. The money was good.

... Okay, the money was great. [That smirk seems to get a bit mischievous.]

In fact, that's sorta how we met. I could afford me all kinda luxuries. [Suddenly he remembers that this isn't necessarily the Inara he's familiar with and he looks a bit panicked all of the sudden.] Uh, beggin' yer pardon, but assumin' you were a companion in your-... reality... uh, memories... whatever, too.

[She smiles.]

It seems as though no matter which you I'm speaking to, you like money. [She's still teasing him, she truly can't help it.]

Oh, there's nothing to apologize for. I'm indeed a Companion... But wait. [She eyes him with uncertainty.] You're telling me that... You contracted me? [Now this she's finding hard to imagine and she quickly pushes her seat back and stands.]

That's... interesting. [She smiles slightly and turns so he can't see her conflicting emotions about that bit of news. She grabs the kettle off of the stove, intent on heating water for more tea.]

What? Is that... surprising? [His brows furrow in concern. Is he really that different from his other self? He watches her curiously.]

I mean, I'm not the type, I s'pose. A pal of mine had the idea, 'n well... I ain't one to spend money's not absolutely necessary to be spent but I'm sure glad I did.

Turned out to be the best damn night of my life.

Just a little. [Try very. She clears her throat, and flips the water on, filling the kettle up.] As I've said before you, the other you, tends to call me a whore whenever it suits his needs.

[She quickly looks over her shoulder at him.] And not those sort of needs.

We've never done anything.

[She picks the kettle back up and moves back to the stove, glad he can't really see her face or the blush that's creeping across her cheeks. She never blushes and yet here she was, blushing. Damn him.]

Was it now?

[Her words seem to sadden him a bit and he thinks on them for a moment or two.]

Y'know I- I hope you can forgive me for sayin' such but I sure as hell pray the things you remember ain't the reality. I-... I don't even want to think on livin' a life without you in it. [He huffs a wistful laugh.] N' if the other me don't like me sayin' so he can go to hell 'cause it needs to be said.

There's nothing to forgive. [She shrugs her shoulders, watching the kettle for a moment but really knows she can't stay there the entire time it boils. Why did he have to say things like that?

And so she's almost hesitantly moving back to her spot at the kitchen table.]

He calls me a whore, I call him a petty thief, it's a cycle but one we're both familiar with.

[He stares at her sadly for a while, then finally down at his tea. He isn't quite sure what to say to that. This conversation is depressing him. Time to think about something happy.]

Took me five minutes to fall in love with you. N' I imagine you were used to that. You were poised, articulate, always knowin' what to say, while I stumbled over every word like a fool. And then I asked you what you wanted more than anything else. You became a word-stumblin' fool like me and after that everything changed.

We kept in touch but it took me nearly a year to convince you to leave the life you knew, run away with me n' be my bride. Still ain't sure how I did it. N' now maybe I know. Maybe it never really happened. Maybe it was all just a story this town planted.

[He tries to smile but it looks more like a grimace.]

Wouldn't that just be ai ya jwai leh?

[Inara's eyebrows drew together and her gaze lowers for a moment. It was sad, truly. Sad that this Mal had fallen so easily in love with a version of herself and had managed to convince her to leave her life behind to start a new one with him while the Mal she knew hadn't even asked her to stay when she'd informed him she was leaving Serenity.

Swallowing, she lifted her gaze to meet his and cautiously reaches over and gently touches his wrist.]

Regardless, she must love you greatly to leave that life to make a new one with you. She's a very lucky woman it would seem.

[This time a real smile begins to show, just faintly. He shifts in his chair to face her directly.]

N' what about you? Would you ever leave your career behind if the right enough reasons came along?

[Mal is fairly certain he already knows her answer. After all, it's still the same Inara he knows, just with a not-so-happy ending to her story.]

[Her eyebrows furrow a little as she thinks over his question. Would she? That was a very good question.]

I, well I suppose so if I had good enough reason to. Though that's quite easy to say here, it's not like I'm actually doing anything remotely close to what I've been trained for.

[One eyebrow is raised.]

Ohhh hohoho, I'd say you were at that. You never stop. You been drawin' me in since I got here an' it may be you ain't even aware of it. I just can't help but-

[It's a subconscious habit of his to reach for her hand, so much so that he is't even aware he's done it until seconds later. Even now as he's pausing to gauge her reaction carefully, he doesn't let go.]

[She opens her mouth to protest, to tell him she was in no way attempting any sort of womanly wiles on him, but then.... She looks down at his hand that's covering hers and all words are momentarily forgotten.

A simple touch like that has managed to silence her, and she knows she should be worried about it, but for a moment she's not thinking that this isn't her Mal.

She lifts her gaze to meet his.]

But what?

[Truth be told, he isn't surprised she hasn't pulled away. He's just not sure the direction this meeting is going in is necessarily a good one. What if his memories really are the false ones? His other self will have to deal with it then. And what if there really is a good reason that this Inara and his other self haven't dealt with their feelings for each other? Then again, Mal has always been the sort to cross bridges only when he comes to them.]

-Can't help but get lost.

[She's had plenty of chances to object and turn back, Mal's decided. Onward and upward. As he leans in, slowly but not too slowly, he feels like he's kissing his wife as he's done many times. However, he knows to Inara in her current state it's probably something very, very new. That knowledge alone makes his heart pound.]

[Inara froze, too stunned at how things were progressing. Though truly she really shouldn't have been so surprised, he had thought they were married. But after a moment she relaxes and even reaches up and cups his cheek as she kisses him back.]

[From her previous reluctance to admit anything, Mal's a bit surprised at such a favorable response. He hadn't really known what to expect at all, really. This is good. Very, very good.

He slowly ends the kiss, pulling back just enough to see her face. He's looking pleased, if a bit hesitant, gauging her reaction.]

Now then. That wasn't so hard, was it?

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companioning - 2012-07-12 20:10 (UTC) - Expand