❀ Shut up and eat! [CLOSED]

[truffulacide]

Who: The Once-ler, Rapunzel, and Audrey
What: Mother's Day shenanigans at 917 Bilko, starring: a chronic whiner, Ms. Most-Certainly-Not-A-Princess, and the girl who loved trees. IN 3D!
When: May 13 (backdated)
Warnings: Nothing!

[waking up strange is not something Once-ler is accustomed to (although he should be considering the type of town he's in), and it's even worse when it's a kind of oddness that doesn't even have a name. the thing it comes closest to being branded as is restlessness; like there's something he ought to be doing right now, something grand and very obviously important, but what that might be is anyone's guess. it nags at him from the moment he wakes up and turns his head, sleepy eyes falling upon the smaller figure that's laying scootched away from him on the furthest end of the bed. that's when the feelings start - the nagging but not wholly bad emotions that tell him to do something, anything, to show that he cares.

- wait, what? what's there to care about? where did this even come from? scratch that, this IS unpleasant. he's not having any of this, thanks very much. quietly, he gets out of bed and tiptoes to the dresser to get some clean clothes because, even if he has to spend the rest of the morning pacing around the yard or, heck, up and down the block, there's no way he's going to dwell on this. distractions are awesome like that.

it's when he takes his first step outside the house that the first although... starts gnawing at his brain. as long as he's out, he might as well swing by the store and pick up more flour and eggs. you can never have enough eggs.

and chocolate. and flowers. and, as he finds out roughly two hours later when he returns home with bags crammed in his arms, stuffed animals. how that teddy bear found its way into his grocery bags is a mystery, but he supposes that's the risk you take when you grab anything that even looks remotely adorable, regardless of price or size. he's pretty sure there's a stuffed duck in here somewhere, too. this got out of control real fast.

by the time either of his two non-droned housemates wake up, Once-ler will already be at the stove cooking. there's already two plates stacked to the top with pancakes on the kitchen table, laying amidst a sea of flowers and boxed chocolates, and he shows no sign of stopping anytime soon if the state of his frying pan is anything to go by.]

Comments

[truffulacide]

[huh? now why would he do a silly thing like that?]

...?

[there's a reason why he hasn't used the car. it comes down to the very simple fact that, here on 917 Bilko Boulevard, no one knows how to drive it. Rapunzel doesn't know what it is. Once-ler himself has never learned how to drive one. and no, operating a Super Axe Hacker doesn't count. if that makes him weird, then so be it.

...still, she looks so expectant. she'd probably laugh at him if he told her the truth, too; what kind of idiot doesn't know how to drive a car at his age? that wouldn't be a good impression to make.

he walks back up the driveway, stiffly, and ambles on over to the driver's side to open the door. then, with as much grace as a turkey, he reaches across the seat to unlock her door.

ohhh boy. what is he doing?]

[treefetish]

[Audrey jumps on it and buckles herself up. She notices that he's a little awkward about it... But, he's been acting weird all morning, so she just writes it off as that. The idea that he may not know how to drive doesn't even enter her mind.]

[truffulacide]

[okay. alright, breathe deep. this is it - his first time driving. what isn't there to feel good about?

oh, right. the fact that he doesn't know what to do.

the keys are laying on the dashboard; how convenient. he's watched his aunt operate a tractor once before, and there are all those rides on the schoolbus back when he was a little kid to take into consideration, too. it didn't look that hard from an outsider's perspective.

out of the corner of his eye, he watches her buckle herself in and he does the same. step one, complete. maybe he should put the key in next; that seems like it'd be step two, right? he takes the ring and slowly, shakily, fits the key into the ignition, then turns it.

then he just sits there, like he's waiting for the car to do something else other than make all that unsettling noise.]

[treefetish]

[A minute passes. A full minute. Of them just sitting there.]

... Is everything alright, Mr. Bob?

[truffulacide]

[good question.]

I dunno. [he looks in one of the mirrors, frowning. aren't they supposed to be moving right now?] It might be broken.

[treefetish]

[wha oh. oh. oh. this is not going to end well.]

... You need to press the gas pedal, Mr. Bob.

[truffulacide]

[he does just that. the engine starts roaring and he decides he doesn't like the way that sounds at all, but they're still not moving. he presses down on the pedal a couple more times, then shrugs.]

It's still not working.

[it might have something to do with them being in park, huh.]

[treefetish]

[just. gonna reach over and put it into drive for him.]

[truffulacide]

[you really should have done that when his foot wasn't on the pedal.

the car lurches forward. granted, he wasn't pressing down on the gas hard enough, so that's what really ends up saving them from smashing into the garage door.

all the same, he shrieks and takes his foot away from the pedal, contorting himself in a way that almost looks like he's about to start hugging the seat.]

[treefetish]

[Audrey throws her arms in front of her face and waits for the fiery death that surely awaits them.

... When that doesn't come, she peeks out at him.]

... You don't know how to drive, do you.

[truffulacide]

[well, he doesn't feel any fire licking at his legs, and his head definitely hasn't gone through the windshield. he's gonna take that as a sign that whatever benevolent force is watching over them has decided to gift them with a miracle today. a Mother's Day miracle.

rigidly, he untwists himself from his hunched-up position and shakily puts his feet down. his heart is hammering away in his chest and it's so darn uncomfortable, but he'll take that as a good sign, too. it means he's alive, after all.]

...W-What makes you think that?

[treefetish]

Um, mostly you not knowing how cars work. [don't worry she is totally sympathetic to your plight--] Did they even have cars back then?

[truffulacide]

[excuse you, ma'am.] Nope. We lived in the stone age. Instead of using microwaves, we clapped rocks together and hoped that'd be enough to spark some fire.

[he rolls his eyes.]

How else do you think we warmed our TV dinners up?

[treefetish]

Do you want me to drive? [she's, like... learning. which is more than he is. so she should be able to get them there somewhat alive]

[truffulacide]

I never said I couldn't drive! I've just...never really done anything with a car before. [tree-hacking death machines are a little different, dontcha know.]

I'll take your input, but that's all! You can be my...my co-pilot.

[treefetish]

Okay, if you're sure... [just gonna. tighten the seat belt a little bit. can't be too careful.]

[truffulacide]

I am. Have some faith in me, will you?

[that settled, he goes back to looking down at the wheel, trying to figure out his next move.]

How'd you do that thing where you made it move? [he starts looking for a switch or lever of some sort.] I want to go backwards.

[he hits nudges something and whatever it is activates the turn signals. he blinks, confused.]

[treefetish]

Push that lever so it's next to "R." That's reverse. [gesturing like the helpful vanna white she is]

[truffulacide]

This thing?

[he reaches down and moves the stick shift backwards onto the R. at once, the car starts drifting again, this time backwards.]

I think it's working!

[treefetish]

See, it's not that hard. [she points to the rear-view mirror] You use that to see behind you, so you don't run over anything.

[truffulacide]

What, like all the time? I thought you were always supposed to keep an eye on the road.

[the car? still drifting backwards. it's already pulling out into the street.]

[treefetish]

Well, yeah, you're supposed to, you just check the other one--

[oh god] Now push it to "F," that's forward.

[truffulacide]

Ooh, I see. [kind of. not really. hey, it's a work in progress. you don't learn all this stuff in a day.

he does just what she says and it stops going backwards. this is the point where he decides it'd be a good time to straighten it out, so he twists the steering wheel all the way around until they're properly aligned and free to start cruising down the street.

he looks quite pleased with himself.]

[treefetish]

[audrey looks pleased too! mostly because she's not dead and that's always a plus for her

she may be holding her breath right now IF THEY CAN MAKE IT DOWN THE END OF THE BLOCK UNHARMED THAT'S A GOOD SIGN...]

[truffulacide]

[yeah, this is pretty sweet. he even feels daring enough to give the gas pedal a little push, just to keep the awesome momentum they have going. and here he thought this car wouldn't be good for anything; what a shocker, huh?

his eyes fall on the radio, lighting up. idly, he reaches for the knob and starts playing around with it.

...right as a squirrel darts in the middle of the street.]