mayfield_logs | Dying is like coming to the end of a long novel-- [CLOSED]

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Dying is like coming to the end of a long novel-- [CLOSED]

Who: Arf, Garviel and Fate
What: With the Revival Machine broken, one wolf suffers for her choices.
Where: 2237 Stevens and later 945 Beulah
When: Early in the Break Event
Warnings: Blood, Emotional Pain and Character Death

Arf was tired of hearing everyone condemn their actions when she knew why Garviel did it. Did she agree with the explosives being used so quickly? No, but she understood how in the heat of the moment with the information that they were going on how it happened.

And really, had the machine been what they all thought it was, the populace would be praising their actions. It was only because of the consequences to the mistake that they seemed to be sharpening their pitch forks. Anyways, Arf wanted to make sure Garviel was okay. She knew he wasn't going to be, but she needed to let him know she wasn't turning her back on him. That he was still important to her.

Ignoring the stiffness in her jaw and the pain flaring up the side of her mouth, she headed out.

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"I am not an apothecary, but will do what I can for you. I think perhaps some icing to cut down on the swelling will help."

He stands, getting some ice from his refrigerator, and brings it back to her, wrapped in a dishrag so she won't chill her hands too badly by touching it.

"Press this up against it. I don't have a narthecium so I am very limited in what I can do, but this will make it hurt a little less."

"Thanks," Arf replied, taking the ice and holding it to her aching jaw. It felt so much like when she yawned way too wide as a pup, only on a higher level scale--

No. It couldn't be. Could it?

"What's narthecium?"

"A narthecium is a Space Marine specific medical device, like an advanced medical package. It allows us to diagnose and treat various ailments and wounds. However, as I am not a trained Apothecary, there are limits to what I can do. Many of the cures are specific to Marine biology as well. The painkillers I would have available to them would be too strong for most. They would kill a normal human, for example. They are paired with a Reductor, which is our final surgery tool. Space marines all carry two Gene-seed organs that are the basis of our legacy, one in our neck." He touches his own to demonstrate, "And one in our chest." He puts a hand on his chest. "When we are slain, our apothecaries harvest the matured gene-seed from us, for implantation into new aspirants, so we can have progeny, of a sort. The organs themselves are called Progenoids, for this reason."

"That's a morbid process of procreation," Arf commented quietly. She didn't move her mouth much when she talked to minimize the pain.

"...how are you, Garvi?"

"We're Astartes. Forbidden to love any but our battle brothers, we don't leave behind wives and children." He says this matter-of-factly, without regret or thought, even. Just a statement of fact.

He considers the question about how he is for a long, long time, then finally says, "I endure. I am watching all my friends hurt, and... I regret this but I... I do not know what to do. I can't save them. ALl I can do is stand by and comfort them."

"I think having family to fight for - not just your battle brothers - would make a man stronger, more determined in battle, more inspired. Knowing there's someone to come home to is a powerful motivation."

But Arf wasn't going to dwell on that point as she took in Garviel's expression as he answered her question. "Sometimes comfort is all that you can do. And it hurts when you're a being of action, knowing there is no action you can tak--"

She grimaces and bows her head down, hand running up the length of the other side of her jaw. She could feel heat localized there and just touching it hurt. Before she could stop herself, a whine of pain escaped.

He doesn't hesitate this time. He will just gently reach over, and pull her into an embrace, saying nothing. And, a moment later, Garviel kisses her on the forehead, comforting her like he used to comfort Euphrati Keeler.

"I'm sorry that I could not protect you from the pain you are now feeling."

It was a surprise to be pulled so quickly and easily into the embrace that Arf tensed up out of surprise. And then when she felt the strength of Garviel's arms about her, the broadness of his chest... the armor... she relaxed and almost melted into it. And then she felt his lips upon her forehead.

Despite the pain she was in, her tail wagged a bit before she tried to respond to Garviel's words and the pain spiked. Letting go of the ice, Arf reached her hand up to rest on his cheek and steeled herself to the pain talking would give her.

"This is from before we first met... I fear it's coming back."

" I know. So be quiet and let me comfort you. "

He just holds her for a long time, saying nothing at all, his eyes closed.

Arf fell silent as she rest her head against Garviel's chest. Every now and then, a whine or whimper would escape her as the pain either expanded or shifted. Soon, she tasted blood in her mouth and her skin turned a bit clammy.

A bit of blood trickled from the corner of her mouth, but she didn't notice it with the pain overriding the feeling of wetness on her face.

Garviel has no idea what to do, how to help her. He can smell her blood, though, and he sighs a bit. He knows what is liable to be coming shortly, and he regrets it.

"I suppose this is when I say goodbye to another beloved friend. I never really had that chance with Torgaddon." He smooths her hair again.

"Did I ever tell you about our last battle? Nod your head if I did, shake it if not. I want to tell the story, because it means so much to me."

Arf thought for a long moment about that, but couldn't recall if Garviel had told her the story or not. Perhaps the pain was muddying up her memories as it was hard to think of anything but it, so she decided to let him tell the tale even if it was for the second time. Maybe it would give him some comfort in the face of her death.

She shook her head and closed her eyes, ears twitching a bit to show she was listening.

"Tarik was one of my two best friends, the most Loyal, the other brother of the Mournival who sided against the Lupercal. We were bombed together on Istvaan III, but survived the initial attack, and made a stand that lasted several months...."

He rocks her gently as he holds her, almost like he's comforting a child, continuing his story as he goes through a description of their last battle, the pertinent point coming at the end,

"Finally, we found that Horus Aximand, little horus as he was known, and Abaddon himself had come down to the surface to supervise the final attack. We set out to meet them, and fought them both in a great Cathedral."

He is silent for a long time, "We lost. Tarik died in front of me, beheaded by Aximand, who seemed utterly in despair as he killed his brother. Abaddon, on the other hand, was vicious in his hatred of me. I gave in to anger... and as such, lost our duel. Ironically, it was the Lupercal's insistence on orbital bombardment that saved my life. If Abaddon had been given time, he'd have given me a death-blow with the same sword that killed Torgaddon. I stayed by his body, wounded and insane, healing on a death world for 6 months by myself." He halts, after that explanation, hecking on her.

Arf's breathing was a bit labored and she was swallowing a lot to try and keep as much of her own blood from slipping out from her mouth. Lacerations had spread along the inside of her cheeks and bled.

Her ears slowly twitch as he falls silent and she lightly rubbed her hand against his armor. She was in great pain, but she was still there.

He just covers her hands with his, and lowers his forehead against hers, his body temperature somewhat lower than human norm, due to his Astartes physiology. The flesh might seem a bit clammy, or it could seem a welcome relief given her pain. He just stays like that, silent for a while.

"I find I do not wish to lose you, not as I lost Torgaddon, Vipus, and Tarvitz. THough... I do not know if the latter two are dead. We were separated before the final battle, and I don't remember seeing their bodies amongst the ruins in the 6 months I wandered there alone, but for demons."

His huge hands tighten around hers, not uncomfortably, but urgently, and he says, "Please Arf, tell me how to save you. I am not so blind as to not see how you are hurting."

And it's then that tears started the slip from her eyes to trickle down her face. She now knew that it was impossible to 'save' her. She was going to die again and their folly made it happen. And Arf found she couldn't bring herself to stay, to let Garviel see her die. Not when she knew it would hurt him so much... Not when she knew Fate would feel it the moment she died and might make the mistake of targeting Garviel in her anguished state.

"Remember me not like this," she whispered. "Let me leave before the pain I feel shows on the outside." She paused to swallow more of her own blood, feeling sick to her stomach already. "Let me have the small bit of pride I have left."

"I would not take that from you."

He stands, his face a stoic mask, letting go of her, and just looks into her eyes for a moment, before looking away. "Go, if that is what you must do. I will remember everything, I.... am unable to do anything else. But I will not let this change how I consider you, Arf."

He looks back at her.

" Farewell. "

"Thank you."

Arf reached out to touch his face, along his jaw where she knew her own would soon split. Her fingers lingered a moment before she turned and fled out the door. She coughed out a mouthful of blood onto the cement of Garviel's driveway as she shifted to wolf form and ran as fast as she could... to Fate.

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Dying is like coming to the end of a long novel-- [CLOSED]

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