Playtime's Begun

[inthebones]

Who: Hapless students
What: Mandatory torture sessions auditions
When: On a Saturday unreasonably early in the morning
Where: The High School Auditorium

Oh, dear.

She had never realized quite how much fun it was to indulge herself in these power trips.  It was quite unbecoming, really, but at some point, dealing with alternate universe nonsense and endless cries of but I'm actually 5000 years old and I don't need to be in school had exacted their toll.  It seemed Miss Traitor's habit of cackling maniacally after assigning 50 page proofs on the existence of logic hadn't been due to mild senility after all.  One day, these students would outgrow their studies (excepting the 5000 year olds) and realize how much trouble and effort it took to derive these truly diabolical schemes concocted for the sole purpose of making every moment of their waking lives miserable.  They'd appreciate it.  Eventually.  Perhaps some would even grow up to be teachers themselves to pass on the thrill of the hunt to the next generation.

..............

The preceding, of course, was exactly what each and every one of the horrified students entering class Friday morning thought as they beheld the following neatly taped announcement. 

MANDATORY SCHOOL PLAY AUDITIONS
TOMORROW MORNING
SIGN-UP BELOW FOR TIME SLOTS AND CHARACTER PARTS FOR WHICH YOU ARE INTERESTED

followed by a neat listing of the names of every student in school, simply as an indication that yes, she would know if you didn't show up.

Truly they were dealing with a mastermind.

((Auditions:
Please post to the appropriate character's topic.  You are welcome to audition with another student simultaneously for different parts in a group if you wish!  In that case, just post to one of the characters' topics.
You are also welcome to have several people auditioning for the same part combating each other in one thread.  Maybe literally.
Any other teacher in the school is welcome to respond to an audition with their own input on the subject. 
This is really just for fun.  You can still be involved in the play if you don't audition.  The exception to this is for the characters of Romeo and Juliet, which will be chosen from among the auditions.  Please note that all parts are non-gender-specific.

Thank you!))

Comments

JULIET

[inthebones]

[commentboxtroll]

[You can hand him a script and you can force him to stand on the stage, but it'll take more than that to get him to make any effort towards this travesty. Especially considering...]

You gave me the wrong part.

[inthebones]

Did I really?

[Susan blinks innocently as she examines the stacks of paper laid out before her.]

My.

I'm afraid the other students were so enthusiastic that they took their scripts home with them. It appears I'm fresh out of the Romeos.

[commentboxtroll]

[As if. You couldn't fill half a classroom with students that 'enthusiastic' about this.]

That's too bad. I suppose I'll have to forfeit my claim on that part and go home now.

[roadroller]

[another day, another entertainment avenue that Rin (and now Len) are trying to upstage Miku at. When it's their turn, Rin bounces forward with her twin in tow, wearing a dress that she hopes is cute and innocent enough to portray the role well.]

Can we audition for our parts together? ♪

[roadrolling]

[Len... has had to make do with the clothes Mayfield provided him to come up with something that could maybe resemble a costume. at least the end result isn't completely terrible!]

♪ We should do the balcony scene~

[roadroller]

You bet~! ♪

[cullscuttlefish]

[Feferi didn't mean to wind up in this line. It was an accident! But regardless, she has her monologue prepared. And it's not the infamous balcony one, even. Instead, she's picked one from Act 3, Scene 2. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and channels her feelings into it. After she clears her throat once, she begins to speak.]

Shall I speak ill of him that is my husband?
Ah, poor my lord, what tongue shall smooth thy name
When I, thy three-hours wife, hath mangled it?
But wherefore, villain, didst thou kill my cousin?
That villain cousin would have killed my husband!
Back, foolish tears. Back to your native spring!
Your tributary drops belong to woe, which you, mistaking, offer up to joy.

[She pauses, giving a bitter laugh.]

My husband lives, who Tybalt would have slain...
Tybalt's dead, who would have slain my husband...
All this is comfort, wherefore weep I then?
Some word there was, worse than Tybalt's death -
I would forget it fain, but, oh, it presses in my memory
Like damned guilty deeds in sinners' minds!
"Tybalt is dead - and Romeo banished."
Banished, that one word, banished, hath slain ten-thousand Tybalts!
Romeo is banished -- that is mother, father, Tybalt, Romeo, Juliet, all slain, all dead!
There is no measure, no bound, no limit in that word's death...
No words can that woe sound!

[Her stage movements seem natural, even if her voice is a bit shaky sometimes. It's practically in time with the words.]

[inthebones]

[Is it ironic that a non-human is one of the precious few who seem to understand the human concept of acting? Susan takes notes on occasion as Feferi goes, though what they're on is anyone's guess.]

Interesting.

Any particular reason you chose this portion?

[cullscuttlefish]

Honestly, it was because while love is a sweet and wonderful thing, the loss of it - one's family, and one's love - is just as valid a side of things.

...that and I kind of figured you would have heard the balcony scene enough to be absolutely sick of it by now.

Re: JULIET

[returntosender]

I-I think there's been some mistake.

[One that involved yet another person thinking his name was tied to a girl-who likely would have wanted to try out for the part of Juliet. And Hope neither was a girl, nor wanted to be cast in a play as the role of a girl.]

[inthebones]

How so, Mr. ...Hope, was it?

[Susan sits calmly with her hands folded in front of her, either being purposefully obstinate or willfully dense, both of which afforded her some amusement at the cost of the poor child standing before her.

She resolves to make it up to him by grading his homework slightly less leniently the next time around.

More. More leniently. ...Maybe.]

[returntosender]

I'm not-isn't this a girls role...?

[He fidgets uncomfortably on the stage-he's got the script in front of him. If he has to he'll read the lines but, the thought of it was making his face read.]

[oathsofademon]

No.

[You can't make him audition for this, woman.]

[inthebones]

Oh!

...What an impressive show of force and vigor in the utterance of that single word alone.

I'm afraid you'll have to pick a longer passage than that to read from, though.

[oathsofademon]

I said no! I'm not going to audition! Especially not for Juliet.

[Okay, maybe he'd watch, just to do some research on love and all that, but being in the play itself? Out of the question.]

[virtualdiva]

[Miku has shown up at the auditions, wearing this. Yes, it was necessary.

Anyway, she's already striding forward, with the script in her hands and oozing confidence. She's sure to win this one, she knows it! She takes in a deep breath (though she doesn't really need one) and opens her mouth.]

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a...a...Cape-you-let?

[...sob.]

[inthebones]

[Oh, dear. Susan bites her lip a bit as Miku begins. She wonders if the janitor will be available to mop the floor afterwards.]

[extraordinarily]

[ When Haruhi Suzumiya walks in, she’s wearing a wig (which makes her hair longer - after all, she had a haircut recently) as well as an accurate Juliet-esque costume. If you’ve seen pictures back in the day, well. That’s Haruhi right now.

She has an evil grin on her face and she’ll just shout loudly, her arm over a manikin that looks somewhat like a clash between Kyon and Romeo.

… Don’t even ask where she got it. She’ll wave, shouting loudly: ]

Yoo-hoo~! This is where I audition for Juliet, right? [ Haruhi will place the manikin down, placing her hands on her hips, grinning triumphantly, puffing out her chest. ]

[inthebones]

Where in the world did you even get that? [The dress] And that. [The wig.]

And did you paint that yourself?

[extraordinarily]

I found both of them lying around. [ She refers to the wig and the dress. Haruhi's powers have once again activated for her benefit! Not that she knows about it, oops. ]

But I painted the manikin myself. I wanted to be ready, that's all.

[frothymilk]

[Ignoring the fact that these auditions are mandatory, Equius is totally doing this as if he planned to sign up from the very start. He wasn't going to, originally, but having gotten his hands on a copy of the play from the school library, he devoured it practically over night. The only way this story could have been better was if Romeo was a peasant instead of simply another noble. It would have added just another layer of intrigue onto all the romantic shenanigans.

Best. Book. Ever.

There was no way he was passing this up. To be involved in such a breathtaking, whirl-wind romance of such depravity and scandal! SWOON.

Naturally, he chose which role he would audition for based on who had the most ~*tragic*~ and ~*heartwrenching*~ death scene of them all.]

[At first, he simply lies on stage, loose-limbed and hardly daring to breath. Then he bolts upright with a gasp, clutching a hand to his chest]

O comfortable friar! where is my lord? I do remember well where I should be, and there I am. Where is my Romeo?

[Another gasp, then he reaches out, eyes wide and lips a perfect O of surpise] What's here? a cup, closed in my true love's hand?

[He jerks his hand back, pressing it to his forehead as if in a swoon] Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end! [He drops his face into both hands] O churl! drunk all, and left no friendly drop to help me after?

[He sprawls over the stage, draping himself over another, a small, coy smile on his lips] I will kiss thy lips... Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to make die with a restorative.

[...yeah, he's making out with the stage. Or the air, really. But it's absolutely ridiculous and he means every second of it. There might even be giggles] Oh Romeo, thy lips are yet warm~

[Then he pops up again] Yea, noise? then I'll be brief. O happy dagger! [He mimes grabbing a dagger, "holding" it aloft and staring intensely at "it"]

This is thy sheath! [The dagger is plunged into his chest with a squeal, and he drops to the floor like a stone] there rust, and let me die!

[There is a moment or two where he simply squirms and moans, hands still gripping the pretend dagger, then he goes completely still]

[This is probably the most he has ever emoted in his entire lifetime. There is no way that performance could have been anything remotely described as awkward, right?]

[inthebones]

Good grief.

[Susan resolves to go back in time and ban Equius from concluding his scene with Clover. Barring that, locate a fire extinguisher and spray him the moment he starts puckering up.]

...Are you going to get up? You're not going to get up, are you. Where do these people come from and why have I never seen them in class?

[miraculls]

[oh god who let this idiot back on stage

clears his throat tentatively!!]

Yo Romeo, where you at, my main motherfucker?
Ain't cool to be playing me for some sucker.
Boot your human lusus and toss that name
Or I'll change mine, it's all the same game.
Anyway, the fuck is all supposed to be a Montague?
Because I sure don't got any motherfuckin' clue.
A rose is still a motherfuckin' rose even if it ain't called a rose
And no offense or nothing, but the name Romeo really kinda blows.
Basically, dogg, if you wanna get all up in the red,
You better start calling yourself something else instead.

[beams proudly!!]

[inthebones]

No.

No, Gamzee, stop.

That was sarcasm. I didn't actually mean -- How long did this take you?