mayfield_logs | (no subject)

Few things scared Crowley as much as a wrathful Aziraphale. In fact, wrathful Aziraphale actually beat out Lucifer on the meter or Things Crowley Fears. That being the case, all it took was one look of the angel's face to keep him from protesting the manhandling of his person and the mishandling of his baby. If this is the worst abuse he got, he was lucky.

He hadn't expected things to go quite that far. Actually, the molestation had caught him completely by surprise. Sure he'd been encouraging Ripper to delinquency (not that he had to say much at all), but that was certainly beyond anything the demon had done. So to tell the truth, he was relieved when he was yanked out of Ripper's grasp.

He remembered Aziraphale's warrior days. Quite vividly, in fact. He'd been discorporated by the angel more times than he cared to count back then. Admittedly, he always did something to entice such ire from him and is wasn't like he never discorporated Aziraphale back then either.

The look on the angel's face when he was manhandled into the car reminded him of those days. Anger, barely contained hurt, though the flash of jealousy was new. Seeing that look on Aziraphale's face, knowing he was at least partially responsible for it, for the first time Crowley actually felt ashamed.

He didn't say a word as the angel drove, not even when he forgot to shift gears or when he stalled at a stop sign, afraid that breaking the silence would mean his end. He couldn't decide what he wanted to say, anyway.

The closer they got to home, the more Aziraphale started to think this was a bad idea. Fortunately his attention was mostly on driving, something which he very rarely did, so that was stopping him from having to worry too much, but... well. If he'd known what he wanted to say he would have said it long before now. The long separation from Crowley had hurt, especially after what had happened, but he just didn't know what to say.

Once the bentley was parked (a little haphazardly) in the driveway, Aziraphale sat back and finally looked at his counterpart. It was far too easy to remember the last time that he was in here. The look only lasted a moment, though, before Aziraphale silently pulled away, and headed into the house, leaving the door open. The demon had a choice. He could follow him and face the music, and perhaps, just perhaps, find some sort of positive resolution to this whole mess, or he could leave and Aziraphale would do his best to make sure that he never saw him again.

Crowley... Well, he hesitated, torn between the easier (and possibly safer) route of running away and his own need to talk to the angel about... Well, about everything. He might not know what to say, but it had been long enough avoiding the subject and Aziraphale was too important to continue to let him slip through his fingers like he had been. And frankly, he missed his company. And now that he'd experienced them, his touches and his kisses.

He slid out of the car and slunk toward the house, shutting the door behind him. He was unsure of what to expect, but whatever it was he likely deserved it.

Releasing a breath that he hadn't realised he'd been holding, Aziraphale leant against the wall for a moment, closing his eyes. A good part of his anger washed away then, replaced with conflicting emotions. He'd cope with that when it came to it.

For now, though, he led the way into the sitting room. "Sit down. I'll make some tea." Because every civilised conversation needed tea, and, well, it gave him a little while to gather his thoughts. Five minutes later he came back in with two mugs, and sat them down on the coffee table. Then, somewhat surprisingly, he came over to Crowley, putting his hand on his cheek gently. "Are you all right?" He had just saved him from being molested, after all.

He followed the angel and sat on the sofa, watching Aziraphale curiously. He seemed to have calmed down which made Crowley relax, if only slightly. The minutes sitting on the couch waiting for Aziraphale to return felt like an eternity.

He was entirely surprised by the gentleness about the angel when he returned, the worry in his voice, tho soft hand on his cheek. He closed his eyes, but he had to stop himself from leaning into the hand. He didn't need to embarrass himself further at the moment.

His voice was a bit rough when he finally spoke, nodding slowly. "I'm fine."

"Good." Aziraphale's expression hardened as soon as the relief faded away, and his hand drew away, but only to give the demon a hard slap. "I don't know what you were playing at, but I..." What? He was jealous? Did he have any right to be? He was the one who had disappeared without a word. After three weeks, it was probably fair enough for Crowley to have moved on, but, well, perhaps just part of Aziraphale had been hoping that what had happened hadn't entirely been led by the flowers.

Perhaps he was wrong.

"I hope you have a good reason for it." He snapped, pulling away to sit on the chair facing Crowley, crossing his arms and watching him expectantly.

He opened his eyes just in time to get slapped, his sunglasses knocked off in the process. He blinked at the angel in surprise as he retreated to a chair across from him. Wha-- Well... He couldn't entirely say he blamed him. He couldn't entirely say he didn't deserve it.

Guilt and shame crossed the demon's exposed face before he looked down. This wasn't how he wanted to reunite with Aziraphale.

"I'm sorry."

Well, that was a good start, but it wasn't the answers that Aziraphale wanted. What exactly had gone on in the weeks that Aziraphale had been avoiding him? The angel wasn't really sure he wanted to know any more. He stared at Crowley from across the room, waiting for him to elaborate. What exactly had he been up to with Giles?

He struggled to find words. Normally he was pretty good at talking himself out of a jam, but he just couldn't find anything to say now when he needed his words the most.

Of course nothing out of the ordinary had happened with Giles. Not until his rebel self came out today, of course. About the weirdest thing he'd done with Giles before this evening was to ask him for advice (which didn't get him anywhere).

"I... He caught me by surprise."

Frowning at that, Aziraphale took it in. That sounded unlikely, but... well, Crowley seemed to be telling the truth, and he hadn't seemed too displeased when Aziraphale pulled Giles off him. He'd take him on his word for now.

Of course, though, that led to a question that Aziraphale wasn't really sure how to ask. Or if he wanted to ask. "Then there hasn't been anyone else? Since..." His word trailed off, and he glanced upstairs towards his bedroom, where, unbeknownst to Crowley, the rose was still kept, pressed and tucked into a safe place.

Crowley's gaze snapped up, his brows furrowed. Was he really implying....?

"Of course there hasssn't bloody been anyone else. Those stupid flowers might have made me tell the whole bloody town how I bloody well feel about you, but I was telling the bloody truth."

Startled by the strong reaction, Aziraphale stared for a moment.

"...You told the whole town?" He told them what, exactly? Aziraphale hadn't been talking to many people recently, but that... well, that made it sound like there really was something above and beyond what the flowers created, and Aziraphale didn't know how to deal with that. He loved Crowley, but he was an angel. By definition, he loved everything. All right, that normally didn't cover demons, but Crowley was a special case. Besides, with all of his time on Earth, there were some things that Aziraphale loved more than others. His books, for example. Afternoon tea at the Ritz. Sushi. Crowley.

It always came back to Crowley. The little flutter of hope and excitement in his chest, well, that led back to him too, as he watched him, waiting to hear what he'd say.

Crowley stood up and started pacing, feathers a bit ruffled in his agitation. His announcement had been humiliating. Demons shouldn't love, let alone tell everyone about it.

"Yes. I told the whole bloody town that I'm in love with you."

"Everyone aside from me."

Of course. That was rather typical of this place, Aziraphale thought. If he'd heard that, well... Perhaps he still would have blamed the rose.

Standing up, he moved to sit next to Crowley, then cautiously leant across to take his hand, stroking the back of his. "How long for?" He still couldn't really put words to what he felt for Crowley, but what he did know was that his heart was racing and that he was starting to feel hopeful again.

"It's not my fault you didn't pickup the bloody phone. And I did tell you. Several times, if I recall."

He stopped his pacing as he found his hand in the angel's. He looked at it curiously, as if he had never seen it before. His eyes quickly glanced at Aziraphale's face as the question was asked and were just as quickly averted back to their hands.

"I don't know. Maybe always..."

"Yes, but if you remember correctly I told you the same..." Aziraphale's voice trailed off as he realised what he was implying. He had meant it when he told Crowley that he loved him before. But was that just the affect of the flowers?

"I mean..." His cheeks were tinged slightly with red, now, as he finally stopped asking questions, and finally started to find his own answers. "I thought that it was just the flowers. The whole thing." He considered moving his hand, but in the end kept it there for his own sake as much as Crowley's. "Afterwards I didn't know what to think." Although that probably didn't excuse the fact that he'd disappeared for as long as he had.

"Angel, the flowers may have made me throw all caution and self respect as a demon to the wind, but it... It was really just a matter of time."

He sank onto the sofa next to Aziraphale, another embarrassing self-realization came to light. He leaned his head back, eyes closed, and let out an exasperated sigh.

"You are the only one I've ever had sex with, Aziraphale. Maybe, without realizing it... I was waiting..."

That was a bit of a surprise. He'd never really thought about it before, but if he had, he would have assumed that Crowley had had sex before. He was a demon, after all. In a way it was oddly sweet. And at the same time, something about it made sense to Aziraphale.

"You could have been waiting a very long time." Without the flowers, he probably would have. Recently he'd been admitting things to himself about Crowley that he normally ignored.

"I know..." And he probably wouldn't have admit the truth to himself either were it not for this town. His virtue would have remained intact ever longer and he wouldn't have even noticed.

And that didn't bother him in the slightest.

His head still tilted back, he cracked his eyes open to look at Aziraphale. He gave the angel's hand a squeeze, unsure of what to say.

It did bother Aziraphale. Something about the fact that Crowley could have been waiting... well, forever. That made something jolt in him. He didn't want Crowley to be waiting, alone. Not now that he knew. If there was something wrong with this, it probably wouldn't feel so good.

Guiltily, he realised he didn't care too much if there was something wrong with it.

"When I first came to earth I loved everything equally." He said, quietly. "I suppose humans started to rub off on me, because these days... there are some things I can't stand, and some things that I love more than others. You were one of the first things that I hated." It sounded a little strong, but the first time that Crowley had discorporated him, Aziraphale did hate him. "And yet, somehow..." How did he explain this? "I don't care that the bookshop isn't here. Or, well, I do care, but... I'd rather that you were here than all of my books." All right, that was as close as Crowley was getting to a love confession without Aziraphale actually saying the words.

He righted his head to give the angel the attention he deserved. He'd known he had led Aziraphale to the most unangelic of all feelings. And at the time, he was proud of it, to lead an angel astray like that. It was good, right? But of course, those days were long since passed and the memory of them stings just a bit.

Crowley knew the angel well enough to read between the lines. But there was still an unasked and unanswered question weighing heavily in the air.

"So what does this make us?"

It was a good question, and Aziraphale had to think about it. He stroked Crowley's hand as he did, leaning back into the sofa and looking down at the tea on the table.

Finally he decided that enough was enough. Leaning in, he pressed a soft kiss to Crowley's cheek and gave him a little, encouraging smile. "What would you like it to make us?" He asked, gently. "We can either go back to how things were before, or... we can try this."

"Angel, I don't know if I can go back to how it was before. Not now... Not after..." What? Everything? So much had been pulled out of them and they'd been so intimate. Of course they would never stop being friends, but how could he just be friends with Aziraphale when they could be so much more?

He hesitated a moment before he kissed Aziraphale properly, attempting to show him his heart. It was embarrassing for a demon to be so outwardly affectionate. But really, they were beyond the point to allow him to let his embarrassment hold the reigns in his actions, right? At least when it was just the two of them.

Aziraphale wasn't sure that he could either, but he felt that he had to offer it. He needed to pretend that there was some way back, even if neither of them wanted to take it.

Catching his breath when Crowley kissed him, Aziraphale leant into him. It was different than before: less of a head rush, less instinctive and more from the heart. He reached up to stroke Crowley's cheek as he pressed in a little closer. When the kiss broke, he smiled at him, and pressed a little soft kiss to the corner of his lips.

"Boyfriends sounds rather silly, though, don't you think?" He said, looking rather happy, despite himself. Was this the resolution he'd wanted all along? "Isn't there a better term than that?"

He huffed at the term "boyfriends". They were too old and had been together far too long for such an immature and impermanent sounding term. And "husbands" didn't sound right either. It was too human. What then? "Life mates"? "Partners"? "Significant others"? Nothing quite described them correctly, were too complex to say repeatedly, or were just too infantile in concept to encompass the enormity of such a relationship between a demon and an angel.

"I don't think there's a term that could accurately describe us."

Chuckling, Aziraphale leant into Crowley a little. The idea of resting his head on his shoulder felt odd, though, so he just relaxed next to him. This would take a while to get used to. Even though they'd already reached the end of the road, now they had to start all over again from the beginning and, well, Aziraphale didn't really know how to do this.

"I suppose we should update the terms of our Arrangement, then." He said, amused.

"Oh? To what?" He arched a brow at the angel and asked teasingly, "Sex on every Sunday?"

Aziraphale spluttered in embarrassment. He hit Crowley's leg lightly before pulling away, finally picking up his tea and sipping from it. "Really, dear, you're incorrigible."

He smirked devilishly and picked up his own mug, giving it a sip. He leaned back on the couch, looking as smug as ever and it slowly dawned on him that while everything had changed, nothing had changed at all. They were still Crowley and Aziraphale. They were still fast friends in spite (or perhaps because) of the differences in their natures. They had been intertwined perhaps since Eden, they'd only added another layer to the cake that was their relationship. They still balanced each other out. He might have some advantages on the angel in Mayfield since he'd been here longer, but they were inconsequential.

"I can't help it."

The worst thing was, while that smug look annoyed Aziraphale intently, at the same time, he loved it. It was so much a part of his friend (lover? He really would have to think of a new way to refer to Crowley as) that he couldn't hate it, no matter how irritating it was.

"You could at least try." Aziraphale said, but he wasn't too hopeful.

"It would only be insincere, Angel."

He had to admit he felt lighter now than he had the last few weeks, almost giddy. Now that this was out in the open and decided on and not eating at the edges of his mind every waking second and maybe he could have a dream that wasn't so focused on buggering the angel for a change.

Before he realized what he was doing, he reached over to move an errant lock out of Aziraphale's face. When he did realize what he was doing, he paused for only a second before continuing his task. His thumb lingered on his cheek.

Leaning into the touch a little, Aziraphale moved to kiss his thumb. Then he leant in for a soft kiss. It was still new enough that each kiss made his stomach do a little flip. He didn't think he'd want to do this where other people could see, though. "I would rather that you were sincere, I suppose."

He closed his eyes, smiling into the kiss and gave him another one after he'd spoken to boot.

"Of course you would. You're an angel. And, er... It would probably be better for our relationship anyway..." He looked a little flustered after that statement and focused on his mug of tea to try to hide his embarrassment.

Aziraphale chuckles at the way that Crowley hides behind his tea. The demon can he adorable, really. He smiled at him, and settled in closer. "Will you let me groom your wings now?" He asked, encouragingly. It was something that he felt he'd missed out on as a friend before now.

He peered at the angel out of the corners of his eyes, considering the request. He'd always managed to take care of his wings before, but... It would be a lot easier to let Aziraphale do them. And his wings did look nice on Valentine's day after he'd let Aziraphale groom them.

But there would have to be conditions.

"Only in private and only if you're prepared for sex after."

Aziraphale flushed darkly at that, letting out a little cough. Well... "We'll have to see, then." The whole sex thing is rather more embarrassing without the driving need for it that he had before. He thinks back to when Crowley tried to groom his wings when they first reappeared, though, and sighs. Perhaps it's an understandable condition.

He chuckled at the angel's hesitation and sipped his tea.

"Don't wait too long, Angel. I might get a complex." He was teasing, of course... Right?

Aziraphale snorted at that, but then realised that he might not be teasing. Ah. Well... He would have to wait a while for him to get his head around things.

"This town isn't going to make it easy." He pointed out, looking at him. It might be easy enough to sneak kisses here and there, but finding private time and space for sex would be another thing all together.

Those were bridges they could cross when they got to them.

"No, but we'll find a way. This..." He gestured vaguely. "The whole package... It's worth it."