mayfield_logs | (no subject)

Who: Giles, Psii, the Condesce, Signless, Milla
What: Giles is friends with aliens. This often goes badly for him.
Where: 724 Anderson and 431 Peepers
When: throughout the 22nd
Warnings: None in particular. Probably PG-13 for language and... troll weirdness.

[ Early this afternoon, Giles came home to discover something very interesting: his house is full of oranges.

There are oranges on the carpet, oranges on the couch, oranges sitting on every flat surface in sight -- it seems as though his not!wife has bought up every orange in the grocery store, regardless of freshness or price. Her loving husband responds to this by standing in the doorway and staring, and then sets off, with some amount of trepidation, to ask her what exactly is going on.

It is not until around dusk -- when he realizes that his very old, very rare, very valuable demonology books are beginning to smell like citrus -- that he gets fed up with it. Giles piles as many oranges as he can into a bucket and heads out for the Psiioniic's house, intent on resolving this idiocy himself.

Which is how he ends up knocking on Psii's door, still looking generally exasperated, bucket in hand. ]

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[When the Psiioniic opens the door, he's still sniggering because of certain things told to him by a certain best friend religious leader. If those things involve hilarious hate makeouts, then, well, you can't blame him.]

[Listen, he spent a good night in a hate threesome with his possible-kindof-matesprit and the person he wishes would fall off a cliff and die. He needs something to cheer him up.]

[When he initially sees Giles, he's pretty sure the day is going alright still, because, hey, they never did have that mythology discussion...]

[And then he sees what he has in his hand.]

[And his brain bluescreens. Just a bit. When he speaks, he sounds just a bit faint and his expression is utterly dazed in surprise.]

Rupert... What...

[Just. Wow. Hello. He hasn't had anyone come onto him this hard, and that's counting his hivemate, who grabbed his hands and made him grab her chest sacks in a rather cheerful manner. But even she hadn't just flashed a bucket at him. And... it's filled with oranges...]

[His thoughts are going dirty, horrible, wonderful places with just what exactly this kind of symbolism means and he swallows.]

Ith thith for... me?

[Hate makeouts are no laughing matter, Psii. He was a hate virgin until a few days ago! Best friend religious leader is still feeling awkward as hell even if the whole thing was cleared up.]

Who is it, Psii? [He appears behind the Psiionic, peering around him to see-

...Oh. Goodness. That sure is a bucket full of oranges.

A bucket...full of oranges. Presumably for his best friend. Being given by the human who hatesnogged him.

Excuse him, he can't quite look at this display without his face flushing hot and bright.]

[ For a moment, Giles is somewhat thrown by Psii's shock. He doesn't know if it's the act of giving a gift or the oranges themselves that have the man looking so stunned. It must be something to do with Psii's background, he figures, or some aspect of troll culture he hadn't yet encountered.

Regardless, he smiles -- brightly, a little wearily -- and holds out the bucket. ]

It is, yes. If you want it, that is.

[Signless, you have the worst timing. Especially because you are not backing a bro up. Seriously. Seriously.]

[Regardless of certain bro failings, Psii is quick to try and regain his composure. Smiling back- awkwardly, so awkwardly, shit how does he human romance- he reaches over and takes the bucket- oh god- and holds it to his chest like some people might hold a bouquet of roses. Roses made of condoms, in human terms.]

[Because it's not like he wouldn't bang Giles. What's a friendly banging between friends? (Ask Signless and Disciple.) But. Wow. Way to be out of the blue.]

Thankth. I didn't really, eheheh, eckthpect it. Do you, uh- [He glances to Signless. To Giles. To Signless again. Once more to Giles.] Did you want to come in?

[Something suddenly occurs to him and he twists around to call into the house.] Milla!

[After all, Giles went above and beyond the kind of courtship/booty call that most trolls did. He had to have looked up and studied troll romance and reproduction to do something like this. What the hell kind of reciprocation is better than doing the same, only in reverse? And who knew better about human stuff than Milla?]

[Because this certainly isn't a wacky misunderstanding. Because of course Giles is so much smarter than that considering he lives with a troll and must know about their culture. Right? Right. Totally.]

Yes, darling?

[ Milla rolls down the stairs on her ~~katamari~~ levitation ball, smiling - and sees the commotion at the door. Well, what's this all about? She heads over to Psii, gently taking the bucket from him, her fingers curling around its sides as she peers at it curiously. ]

Goodness, Mr. Giles, did you bring over these for Psii? What a wonderful friend you are! Do come in.

[ Wacky misunderstandings building, rolling up the steep slope of the roller coaster that is awkward alien shenanigans...check. ]

[For whatever reason, it seems the Condesce has taken interest in the local periodical. She's perched herself on a pile of oranges in the main room, reading with a light crease in her brow until Giles makes his appearance. She lets the top half fold down over her fingers to allow him to look into her eyes.]

Yes?

[It only appears as if she's eaten a single orange out of the entire grouping.]

[He's not trying to be a bulgeblock, really. This is just very personal and Giles, you couldn't have waited for a time when he wasn't right here.]

Excuse us.

[Cue Signless grabbing Psii's hand and practically dragging him into the kitchen.] Can we talk about what is going on at the front door for a moment?

[ Giles is back to bewildered, and it shows on his face, bafflement moving very quickly in the direction of flustered panic. Because this seems like a big reaction, and because oh lord, just the sight of Signless makes him want to turn beet red and polish his glasses until the lenses are worn through.

But then Psii's being pulled aside, and Milla, who's seemed delightfully sane from what he's seen of her thus far, has come to his rescue. He follows her inside gratefully. ]

Ah, u-um, thank you. We had quite a few just lying about at home, you see. I believe they were meant for Psionic but, ah, got a bit lost along the way.

[ Something like that. ]

[ He makes an effort not to gape, but is not particularly successful. Still, Giles finds his voice before too long, indignation falling to a faintly desperate tone. ]

There is a truly ludicrous amount of fruit decorating our living room. And dining room. And... everywhere else, rather.

I'd quite like to know why.

I'm banging him.

[Yes, those are his first words once they're out of sight, and even then, Psii peers around the doorway at Giles. When he comes back to lean in conspiratorially to Signless, he's wide eyed and quite considering it all.]

I mean, I gueth he'th old, but you have to admit it'sth a pretty good old and pretty good for a human. And... That ith like thoving my head into a pail, Eth, I can't not try it. And we get along!

The fact that he'th the wifethprit of the Evil Fith ith jutht reathon more to do it.

...How much do you think it would pith her off.

[Her head tilts innocently to the left.]

Wouldn't you? I've been keeping myself busy, is all.

[She picks up the paper again to skim, apparently deeming the conversation over.]