no more a smart little girl with no heart

[echidna]

Who: Jade Harley and Pokey Minch
What: horrible things probably
Where: 502 Ricardo St
When: Valentine's Day

[ After the vary-ingly awkward conversation from a few days ago, being hung up on, and having recovered from the effects of the pitcher plant from the day before, Jade is on her way to Pokey's house for a little chat. Good luck hanging up on her in person jerk!!!!

She knocks urgently, and while she waits for someone to answer, she takes notice of an odd looking rose bush by the front door. She can't remember seeing it here before, though the times she's been by Pokey's house are few and far between. As if yesterday taught her nothing at all, she carefully extracts a rose from the bush, twirling it between her fingers while she waits. ]

Comments

[ceasetoexist]

[The last few days haven't exactly been...the best. Having already ended up kissing his best friend the day before, and the fact that he's been struggling not to make the call he'll inevitably make that night, Pokey isn't in the mood for visitors. But at the same time? It's harder now, to just ignore the knock out right in case there actually is trouble.

He gives it a minute before he does, hoping the person would have gone away, and frowns a little when he sees who it is. Not so much because he's angry she's there, as just...how confusing it is to talk to her in general.]

What is it dog-girl? You lose your way home? I gotta call your house so they can pick you up?

[His eyes haven't been drawn to the rose in her hands. Yet.]

[echidna]

Hey- [ She's about to spit back a usual insult-greeting, when she feels something strange. Her stomach drops, or flip flops, or does some sort of rosey pirouette right off the handle at the sight of him.

What did she come here for again?

Oh right- to tell him she's in love with him. That's why she broke up with Gamzee and Tavros yesterday, isn't it? It all makes sense to her now. ]

Uh, um...

[ She stumbles for words as her mood makes the sudden shift, and in the end she comes up with nothing but an awkward kind of smile, gripping the rose more tightly between her fingers. ]

Hi.

[ceasetoexist]

[He frowns. What is she doing, just standing there? Is she just going to waste his time? And what's with the rose? As much as he'd love for her to bring a stupid plant in his house he-

He just wishes he had been the one to give it to her. Of course. It all makes sense now, his avoidance of her sometimes, the picking on her. He's been trying to avoid admitting he's in love with her.

He just smiles a bit, shyly and uncertain, looking to the side.]

Uh, hey.

You...you wanna come in?

[echidna]

[ She looks relieved, and more than that, quite pleased at the invitation. ]

I, yeah, I really do!

[ceasetoexist]

Heh, okay.

[And he just steps aside, keeping the door open for Jade to come in.]

Take a seat and, uh...can I get you something to drink? We have soda and that jazz, but I know how to make coffee or tea or something if you want that.

[echidna]

No, I'm okay... [ She steps inside shyly, twisting the flower almost nervously between her fingers. ] I actually really wanted to talk to you about something.

[ceasetoexist]

[Pokey closes the door, leaning against the frame a bit as they talk.]

Yeah? I'd like to talk to you.

I mean....what would you like to talk about?

[echidna]

Well, I... [ What did she want to talk about? There's the love confession, but she feels like there's something else. It's hard to concentrate on it properly. ] Hmm, I think there's actually two things!

[ceasetoexist]

Oh. Well, that's fine!

[He tries to hide how stupidly he's smiling at the moment. Hey, the more you have to talk about, the longer you'll stay.]

So...what do you want to talk about first?

[echidna]

Um... [ She giggles, twisting a strand of hair around her finger and feeling very unlike herself. She struggles for a moment, but the true topic manages to find its way to the tip of her tongue. ] Oh yeah, you hung up on me the other day!

[ceasetoexist]

[The giggling is a little infectious, and Pokey can't help but laugh with Jade a little. He stops, though, when she hears what she says.]

Oh. Right, sorry. I just...I guess that wasn't cool but it's...like it's not something I really like talking about.

[echidna]

Oh, no, that makes sense! But I was thinking, um, we could talk about things like that, because... [ because. And this is where here teenage heart goes all pitter patter. ] well, hehe, you know!

[ceasetoexist]

...Sure. I mean it's just...

[Pokey taps his fingers on the arm rest of his couch, trying to think of what to say.]

It's just...being immortal was fun for a bit, you know but...you kinda find it doesn't really matter, in the long run.

[echidna]

Yeah, it seems like it would get... lonely.

[ceasetoexist]

It did but, you know...it wasn't til I got here that I really realized how lonely it was. I guess I was able to lie to myself - to keep telling myself everything was fine, that I was having fun and maybe I really was but - you come to realize...at some point? You come to realize there's no point to life in general if you don't have others around you.

[echidna]

I kind of know what you mean. I'm not immortal, but growing up all alone, I thought I was fine with just Bec and my friends online and in my dreams.

But being here, around lots of people and having a family, I really like it.

[ceasetoexist]

It is.

[He scoots a little closer towards Jade, most certainly the very definition of bravery.]

Like, I thought I'd hate it at first, but when I gave it a try and people seemed to actually care....it was nice. Even if it took me a bit to figure out how much I liked it. I wish I'd realized it sooner.

And you know, it's just-

[He stops, going quiet, before shaking his head a little bit.]

[echidna]

[ She shuffles a bit closer when he moves, cheeks tinting with color. ]

Just what?

[ceasetoexist]

And I've wondered, sometimes, if I could give it up. Like, you can trade stuff you get back to the post office for other crap. And I just...I dunno. Maybe they won't let me, but I'd like to try. Because it's unbearable now. It was awesome at one point and now it's just...I don't want it. I just want to find some way to throw it away.

And sometimes I wonder if I just deserve having it.

[echidna]

Of course you deserve it!

[ceasetoexist]

...Why?

[echidna]

Why? Everyone does.

[ceasetoexist]

...I don't.

Look. Before I got here, I did a lot of horrible crap. I mean, even as just a twelve year old kid, I did a lot of monstrous things. And I guess...in a weird say, since I've gotten here and realized things about myself...I've been getting punished for it.

I don't really deserve anything decent. I recognize that.

[echidna]

People can change. And you can't be punished for something forever, you know?

[ceasetoexist]

But what if you deserve to be?

.....

You're amazing, you know that? How you can look at things the way you do, or just your determination to talk to people, even if they're massive jerks.

I really like that about you.

[echidna]

I- [ She loses whatever she was about to say, her cheeks practically burning with heat. ] Um, thanks.

Sometimes massive jerks aren't too bad once you get to know them.

[ceasetoexist]

You know?

[He sits there for a moment before moving one of his hands to put over hers.]

Massive nerdlingers aren't too bad when you give them a chance, either.

[echidna]

[ There's a small, surprised laugh, she almost chokes on it, as she turns her hand to his and laces their fingers together, squeezing gently. ]

I take back everything I said, you're terrible.

[ceasetoexist]

Yeah, well, you knew that when you came here.

....

You said there was something else you wanted to tell me?

[echidna]

Oh, right- [ She grins, biting nervously at her lower lip in an attempt to suppress it. ] I just thought that I should say, um, that I love you.

[ceasetoexist]

[Pokey's quiet a moment, before laughing a bit.]

Really?




I love you too.

[echidna]

[ She looks momentarily surprised, as though she hadn't been expecting (but certainly hoping for) that answer. ]

You do?

[ceasetoexist]

I do.

[And he does. Yet there's some little part in the back of his mind, gnawing at him. As if what he just said was wrong. But it can't be. It's true. He knows it's true. it has to be true.]

I wanted to tell you but...I was scared.

[echidna]

[ She squeezes his hand, trying to sort out her feelings of elation from her feelings of doubt.

Wait. Doubt? What is doubt even doing there? ]

I was too, a little. But I'm glad I did.

[ceasetoexist]

[He laughs a little.]

You're...you're definitely the braver of the two of us. That's for sure.

[He squeezes back, and then falls silent. And then? Leans in, to see if she'll meet him half-way.]

[echidna]

[ She leans in as he does, tilting her head and kissing him shyly. ]

[ceasetoexist]

[It doesn't last much longer on his end, and after the short, shy kiss, he pulls back.

And just stares for a moment. There's something wrong. He can feel it. And the assurance he had that he was in love is slowly beginning to fade away. He blinks and shakes his head, trying to clear it, but it's still there. Still in a half-daze, between two different certainties.]

[echidna]

[ Jade stares back at him, equally dazed, lips still slightly parted from their kiss. That was right, wasn't it? What they were supposed to do? Because they were madly in love with each other, or something... ]

Pokey?

[ceasetoexist]

[He blinks a few more times, trying to clear his head. Still there. He's in love with her. He isn't. He just doesn't know.]

I....

Yeah?

[echidna]

[ Her fingers tremble as they close over his hands, and she frowns, just slightly. Her voice is just above a whisper when she speaks, and she leans in close again to do so. ]

I feel weird.

[ceasetoexist]

[He swallows. There's the desire to kiss her again, and the feeling of just wanting to leave things alone. Of not knowing what to do and God it's just too much like yesterday.]

...I do too.

I don't know what's going on.

[echidna]

Me neither.

[ She drops her head onto his shoulder, burying against his neck. ]

Maybe if we just sit, for a minute...

[ceasetoexist]

It's fine.

We'll just...see what happens.

[He leans his head a little bit to rest against hers, and gives her hands a small, gentle squeeze.

He has no idea why he's frightened. There's nothing to be frightened of either way. But God. He just hates this uncertainty.]