mayfield_logs | home is the place, where, when you have to go there

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home is the place, where, when you have to go there

Who: The residents of 847 Goldberg St.
What: Caesar's back for good after nearly four weeks of avoiding his housemates.
Where: 847 Goldberg
When: 3/11, late night.
Warnings: gettin' yelled at?

Nearly twenty-five days of avoiding this place the best he could. It had been a bit of work to do, with the constant threat of droning hanging over his head, but Caesar had gotten the pattern for avoiding those consequences down. Three hours every third day wasn't difficult when you knew the schedules of the people you wanted to avoid. For the most part, he would sneak in during the hours that Balin and Virginia would have already gone to sleep. There had always been signs of his coming and going: his cat, Bonaparte the Second, would always have fresh water and food in her bowls and the litter box checked up on, as well as someone having looked in on and taking care of a few things in the stables now and then. Objects in his own room would have been moved, the door left open when it should have been closed, food missing from the fridge on occasion, were common enough, too, but he never stayed long enough to be caught.

Nearly twenty-five days. That was all they were getting, because Caesar was finally tired of having to rely on friends and allies to let him crash around. He couldn't impose forever! So, following the routine he had found himself falling into, it wasn't until late into the night that the door opened and he walked in as quietly as he could. There was a pause to hang his coat up and tug his boots off before he closed the door behind him.

The cat was there immediately to greet him. She had gotten used to him skulking on in this late and giving her some extra food! It only made sense for her to stake out his appearances and that didn't surprise him, but did she have to meow so much over it?

"...at least someone misses me." Caesar crouched down to give the cat a scratch behind the ears. "Cut that out. You're going to wake up everyone."

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"Already awake." Virginia's voice came from the living room. The exact last place he had seen her, actually. Not that she'd been there the whole time, of course. No, she hadn't been able to sleep that night... Coincidence had handled the rest.

"Welcome back..."

Oops. So much for his plan to deal with everyone in the morning. Caesar remained on the floor with the cat for another minute or two, quiet because he was still reaching for something else to say. Something...

"...thanks." Followed by another, though shorter, awkward pause before he added, "Couldn't sleep?"

Well, there hadn't been a hope of finding something clever to kick the conversation off with anyway.

"Bad dreams...," Virginia replied. It was the truth. A pretty regular truth, to be honest. They'd been bothering her for awhile...

"You can sit down if you want. I mean... I won't make you talk about anything you don't want to, but... I did miss you."

"I think we all have those."

Caesar gave the cat one last scritch under her chin and finally stood back up. Well, he wasn't going to hurry on by if she wasn't going to yell at him. He left the hall behind and found the couch cushion farthest away from Virginia to sprawl out on.

"I don't know if there's even much to talk about," he said, shrugging, "It's just... stuff. That happened. So, does that mean I can stay after all?"

"And it wasn't you, either. Not really... And... No matter what happens, Caesar, this place is your home. You're safe here, we promise. Balin'll probably be upset, but we're in this together. Nothing is ever going to change that... okay?"

It almost seemed like she was confirming it more for herself.

"I don't see what Balin has to be upset over. I did a terrible job of trying to kill him." Unless Balin was going to be that broken up about all those pink shirts. Then they might have trouble. "I know, it wasn't, but..."

Sometimes he wondered.

"I don't know. Isn't it part of the trap to start calling this place 'home'?"

"I didn't say it was home. And I'm not going to. But... home is far away. This is the best we've got. I don't want to lose it."

"Guess we have to set the bar that low to be happy here at all." He let his head loll back against the couch so he could stare at the living room ceiling. "Remember when I first got here? It's been a year..."

"Sure do... You complained a lot." Virginia gave a small chuckle, followed by a long sigh. "Still do..."

"No, those were all valid concerns!" Caesar countered. Him? Complain? Never! He let another minute of silence pass, their conversation having brought an actual concern back to the forefront. With all the talk of home...

"I'll be eighteen in the summer. You know they're going to move me when that happens."

"Yeah... But I'm not afraid. No matter what happens, you can still come here. Even if it's not for always, we're still a safe place for you. That's never going to change, and I mean it." She sighed again.

"... Caesar... about the last thing we talked about... I keep telling myself it wasn't you, but... These nightmares, lately. What keeps happening is that... what I see is you in danger... and because I'm like this, I can't protect you. It's a real fear. Because I care about you. You're as much a partner to me as my teammates were back home. And I'll admit, the idea of you being moved makes this fear more real, but..."

She didn't even know what she was trying to say any longer, letting out a frustrate sigh.

But it wouldn't be the same. He had already settled in here! As much as he hated to call anything in Mayfield his "home", Virginia was right. This was as close as they were going to get to one and now everyone expected him to deal with just changing everything around in a few months. He could go on and whine about it further, but what good would it do? He wouldn't feel any better for it, that was certain.

He stirred from staring upwards and looked at Virginia, putting his own worries aside to puzzle over hers instead. Nightmares? About him?

"They're only dreams, Ginny. I'm in about as much danger as everyone else here is, not more." Still, he sat up straighter and frowned. "Because you're like... what? You can't mean your back. It's been weeks! That must have healed by now."

"Caesar... my back problem wasn't a death injury. It happened when I flew out of the window and hit the grass," She spoke motioning to the cane beside the bed. "That's why Lucas couldn't heal it. It was fresh. It wasn't going to go away when the machine was fixed. That's the only thing that makes sense." She leaned back, her face turning upward.

"But... I'm gonna get better. That much I have faith in. Every day I can walk just a little better. I'm gardening again. I can ride on Quicksilver without pain. I just... need to get over these fears. And... having you around helps. So I guess I'm saying is that I don't want you to go away."

"It was still caused by the machine going haywire!" As if Caesar could claim to be any expert on why Mayfield does anything (no one could) or that he knew all that much about spine injuries, but that everyone else could be back to normal and not her, that was hardly fair! "You broke your back. That doesn't just 'get better' over time, even after what Lucas did, and if the town isn't fixing it... Who's looked at it? You did go to see someone about it, didn't you?"

Of course he focused on the negative. He had no idea how to react to the rest. Was he supposed to ask about her fears? Or be flattered that she wanted him around?

"Caesar." She spoke up, firmly, pausing a moment to gather her thoughts. It was best to be direct...

"When you talk like that... that's what makes me afraid. What makes me feel weak... So... please... don't. Let me have my hope."

"Virginia, hoping doesn't fix things. Doing something fixes them and you're already working on that, like before... well, before that other stuff happened."

That was where they were hitting a wall. Hope wasn't a good stand-in for action!

"It isn't weak to find someone who can help you, you know..." He fell into an uncomfortable silence immediately after saying that and watched her with some wariness before finally pushing himself to ask, "Why would any of that scare you? I mean, it's common sense."

"Because I'm a Drifter, Caesar... If I can't fly, I'm as good as dead."

"This Drifter stuff again! Maybe it's different there, but here you're as good as dead if you try and stand alone! You want me around, but you won't let me help you. All for what? Pride?"

Like he was one to call her on that. Caesar had his moments; he was just as guilty of it.

"What do you even expect to get out of this?"

"It's not about standing alone. This isn't about anything like that. It's about being able to stand at all..." She lets out another sigh.

"... But... We are a team on this. And if you think there's something that can be done, then I'm gonna listen. Just... don't treat me like I need to be protected, okay? I just hate how it feels."

Huh. He really never was going to understand that Drifter stuff, not any better than half the things Balin would go on talking about, so he'll just deal with it the same way he dealt with the latter: he shrugged.

"It isn't even about protecting anyone. You're better at that than I'll ever be! This is just doing the smart thing. Of course we can find someone to do something, there's even been a whole list of healers with those papers I keep by the phone this entire time..."

"It's what you said before, though... That's why it hurt so much. I'm already afraid that... that I'll only have bad news. I don't need it made worse."

"I wasn't exactly myself when I said that, Virginia, and do you really think ignorance is going to keep you from ever knowing if it'd be bad news or not?"

"It still hurt..."

"But..." That hadn't been him! Not entirely. Not exactly. He stubbornly remained at his end of the couch for little while longer, trying to put together something else he could say that wouldn't sound like yet another pack of excuses. There wasn't whole lot, though!

He gave an annoyed huff rather than a sigh before moving over one cushion to sit next to Virginia instead.

"I'm sorry, alright?"

"... I know you are...," she whispers, draping an arm over him and pulling close, whether he wanted to or not. "And I'm sorry... for being so stupid and stubborn about this..."

As if he hadn't had enough personal space invasion lately! Still, it was only Virginia and not, say, a vampire, or worse, Miakis, or even more worse... Caesar had a list a mile long of 'worse' for Mayfeld, actually, but after a year, the least he could do for her was tolerate a hug.

"It's... well, it isn't okay, but it isn't your fault, either. You don't have anything to apologize for."

Maybe she didn't, but what she said had been true. She'd been stubbornly ignoring the facts of the matter, clinging to a useless sense of pride. Things were just too different in Mayfield... a fact she was painfully reminded of all too often.

She nodded, sniffling back some tears.

Of course they had been true. Most things he said usually were! But it was a subject he could drop for now, if what she had said about slowly getting better had been true. At least, that meant he wasn't about to start calling people in the middle of the night, which had, admittedly, been his first inclination.

The sound of sniffles did get a sudden stiffening of his shoulders, though. Oh no, was she going to cry? How did you handle crying people? What did people usually do?! He had enough sense not to move away, so that was covered.

With some reluctance, he moved an arm around her to return the hug the best he could. Still a little awkward, but! This wasn't something he did often, okay?

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home is the place, where, when you have to go there

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